My Great Big Canvas

The Excruciation Exam 1/7/2012

2012-01-17T21:05:00.006-06:00

My pal Patrick is all big into mountain bike racing (or as those in the biz refer to it: MTB racing). I was a temporary member of the cool kids club and was invited to a race in Warda, Texas (yeah, it's a place. They have a post office.) 2 weeks ago. The Excruciation Exam. I was supposed to be the Sporting Press and give tweet updates on the progress of Patrick vs. Devin. I was picked up at 5:00am on a Saturday (I know, right?), and we drove through the fog for approximately 7 hours (give or take 5-6 hours) then arrived in some pasture where apparently they often do this sort of thing.

Warning: this is a complete outsider's view of the world of MTB racing. I fall off my bike because I forget to kick my feet out of the clips. Seriously. And I didn't take a lot of pictures, and the ones I took aren't that great. The tweets weren't even clever. Just factual. You should probably stop reading now and save yourself.

No? Okay. Bear with me. The race was delayed because of the fog. I admit I didn't see why this was an issue. I mean, it's one thing if you're driving fast in a car, but a bike? Oh. But you see, these guys (and girls - I'll get to that in a minute) GO REALLY FAST. Like not at all leisurely.

The fog cleared, and everyone lined up. There was a stretch of 200 yards or so that they had to run (in their clippy shoes!! What the heck?!) to their bikes, THEN they could officially take off. The running part (if I would have been racing, I probably would have forfeited right there. Something dramatic like lying down in the middle of the path.) helped space them out, I'm told.

So there were some fast people at the front.... OH GOOD FOR YOU.

And some people who would have been my friends.

We (Derek and I) took their (Patrick, Devin, and some other dudes) bags to Rocky Hill, the next big time checkpoint (some 20ish miles from where they started).

The volunteers have this sort of thing down to a science. They made 57,000 sandwiches in 5 minutes. A guy brought all the bags and coolers and laid them out on big plywood boards (did I mention it was wet and foggy?). We took our crew's bags and kept them to the side. I'm picturing that everyone will arrive at the same time and a bunch of high maintenance guys in spandex would be all, "Where's my Evian water?"

They weren't at all high maintenance. They were actually incredibly chill. This guy wins best gear award. He used a cat carrier. Who does that?!

So then the clouds decided to open up and finally the sun came out!

Good thing. It was pretty gross. Kinda like my lame tweet updates. I blame it on the fact that I had no Press Pass badge. I would have felt a lot cooler (in a Liz Lemon sort of way). I digress.

Here's Devin coming in to Rocky Hill...

And here's Patrick just before his Dublin Dr. Pepper fix. It's true: water and gatorade aren't all that can be poured into a water bottle. Sidenote: Patrick has since bought all remaining Dublin Dr. Peppers left in existence after the evil Dublin DP buyout.

And here's some random 7 year old that was kicking everyone's tail... I keed. He was 16. I met his mom. But still.

So yeah. We helped people with their energy bars and water bottles and what not. And when I say we it was really Derek. I just moved around trying to act busy with a dumb smile on my face as if that would encourage the people in the race. After all the hard work of not riding a bike and not really contributing anything useful other than saying helpful things like "enjoy the sunshine!" to downtrodden riders, I was hungry. Whew - good thing there was a food trailer on site! Check this monstrosity out.

All that for $6. All in a day's work, my friends. There may have been a can of Shiner Bock involved as well.

OMNOMNOM what? Oh yeah, the race. It was 85 miles long. Incredible. Devin beat Patrick by a few minutes, which apparently was all that really mattered in The Grand Scheme of Life. Here are the results. Here is the trail. 2,787 feet gained in elevation?! And they were all laughing it up and talking afterwards like it was nothing. Are you kidding me? Incredible.

After being so motivated, I drug Amy on a little 12.1 mile ride the following day and had a whopping 651 feet gained in elevation and we almost died (Houston, how I miss thee). So quick note on girls. Top 3 guys got a prize, as did the top 3 girls. Even though their times were a good 1.5 - 2 hours behind the guys' time. SO not fair, but such is life. I need to find a race (that's not 85 miles long. I want to win, I don't want to DIE) where there are very few girls competing (like no more than 3). Bucket list that one.

Go boys.

The end.

Europe Trip - Part 2: Scotland

2012-01-15T18:29:00.011-06:00

Yeah, yeah, I'm busy, ok? Here's the next leg of the Europe excursion: Scotland. My favorite. Bear with me - this will be long.

This will not be in chronological order because apparently I can't remember how to add photos in sequence. Hopefully it won't make the story unbearable for you.

We arrived in Scotland and proceeded to rent a car (Enterprise!). It was in my name, why I don't really know, as Amy is a much better driver than I am... I think I was more confident about my untapped ability to drive on the right side of the car. Within 15 minutes of driving I had already smashed the left side rear view mirror to shattered uselessness.

Here's where the steering wheel was NOT:

Thankfully we had the good sense to rent a navigation system (goodness what in the WORLD would we have done without her?!). We named her Pippa because she had a classy British accent and, well, we are silly Americans. Roundabouts were EVERYWHERE, and Pippa clearly had little faith in my skills in successfully taking the right road while circling in a clockwise fashion. I swear she changed her tone when she urged: "Entah roundabout." The roads were more suited to a horse than a car. More on this later.

This is the Edinburgh Castle:

This is Amy at the door of our precious bed and breakfast. Brother/Sister duo Maria and Edward kept the house and cooked breakfast. They were so dear! Amy was convinced Maria looked like Julie Andrews as Maria in The Sound of Music, but there is no truth to that. They both had short blonde hair, but that was about it.

We happened to be in Edinburgh for their annual festival (perfect timing, totally planned it). We packed a picnic dinner - see photo below - a highlight of the trip was discovering flap jacks. They aren't pancakes, but are little squares... sort of like a soft granola bar but SO good. Plenty of red wine. Funny to observe the people sitting around us who were drinking MGD and Budweiser and Smirnoff (Amy: "like that's cool").

(coming up the stairs to watch fireworks after a day of driving drama and plenty of "entah roundabout" said in a treacherous tone)

Sitting on the hill, waiting for the fireworks to start....

Amy: "OMG..(thinking her wine spilled onto her camera bag... then discovering everything was okay)...PTL!"
Emily: "I'd like to have four kids. My great grandfather was one of 14 or something. I could do it.".......Amy: "You do have wide hips."
Amy: "oh Pippa. You know, there's probably going to be a great influx of girls named Pippa now." .....Emily: "Yeah, or William. And Kate." (cheesy William and Kate memorabilia was everywhere.)

Fireworks!! And they were super long and super great! They were shot from Edinburgh Castle, and below there was a full orchestra with - get this - coordinated music!! The folks on the hill with us were no dummies, and many brought portable radios with them so we could listen, because oh yes, it was being broadcast.

And now for my favorite part of my favorite country on the trip: the Braemar Highland Games. Think burly, strapping young (and old) men in kilts throwing capers (telephone poles) and massive weights and armed forces (!!!) gents in tug-of-war competitions and young lassies in highland dancing competitions.... all the while with bagpipes playing constantly. Heaven.

And gingers. Redheads were everywhere. Here's a photo of the cutest little redhead I saw on the trip. He was terrorizing his older sister a few rows in front of us.

OH AND GET THIS. The Queen of England was there!!! And she totally looked at me and waved. Click on the picture and zoom in - I'm serious.

Tug-of-war.... and number one looking out for his team:

Glenfidditch single malt scotch whisky was the main sponsor of all the heavy lifting sports. Oh! and the announcers were elderly gents who said things like, "Oh! Off you go then" when the runners started, and so-and-so won by a "wee bit." Sports announcers in the US could take a lesson or two from the Braemar announcers :)

See what I mean?! All the guys were huge! I felt so small and dainty! Heaven.

I.love.bagpipes.

After a full day at Braemar (2-3 hours north of Edinburgh), we thought it would be a good idea to drive two more hours north to LOCH NESS (a not-so-small obsession o' mine).

Lovely views on the way... I have a ton of photos of this part of the trip. There was a lot of road construction ("road works") and detours and delays. The signs at the end of the construction said "sorry for the delay." Likewise, signs in the US could take a lesson from the kind words in the UK. BUT their graphics were really amusing - "warning: elderly" was the same as "warning: disabled" - both featured two people hunched over with canes.

"Oh my soul, thou art capable of enjoying God, woe to thee if thou are contented with anything less than God." ~Francis de Sales

Emily: "I'm Scotland. I have narrow roads."
Amy: "We just got passed."

And then we arrived. Magical. Breathtaking. All I was hoping for. It was eerily quiet and roaringly majestic at the same time, if that's possible.

So the Loch Ness monster (Nessie) was in the middle vertically and far left horizontally of the photo below... can you see her?!

And I was going to insert a picture of Nessie to make it look like I was petting her, but I'm too lazy.

Lovely, lovely day. Smaller than all small worlds, at Braemar I ran into a girl I shared a bunk bed with at Impact Camp waaaay back in the fall of 2002 before my freshman year at A&M! She is now married and has a little girl and lives in St. Andrews, Scotland! We made plans to meet in St. Andrews a few days later (and sadly Kendall and I didn't get a picture together).

Taxi driver who took us from the train station into town:
Driver: "Why would you ever leave the US?! There is plenty to do there. Why did you come all the way here?"
....um... because we wanted to travel to the Motherland??...

I have a ton of photos of old churches and cemeteries in St. Andrews... here's only a few: this one is an old Episcopal church that has the stations of the cross on the ceiling:

Walking through the ruins and imagining how regal these structures were 500 years ago

St. Andrews campus, and no I didn't spot Prince William or Prince Harry. Incredible campus! So old! They're celebrating their 600th anniversary!!

St. Andrews golf course. Fabulous, and I don't even know how to play golf. We walked across the 17th hole fairway... one of the fairways it's best not to walk across, but thankfully weren't hit in the head with golf balls. We had "high tea" (read: loads of empty sugary calories in the form of mini sandwiches and scones and tarts. I felt like a pasty white Brit for sure).

It was an absolutely gorgeous day!

This has significance if you are a golfer. The old hotel? Toughest hole? Something like that.

I really want to go back. Now. The price was pretty steep, but the people were wonderful, the scenery superb, the history just fascinating. I will definitely come back!!

View from the train as we crossed a little river on the way to the port for Ireland.... I will detail the ferry ride in the next post. Farewell, Scotland!

Austin Police Department

2012-01-09T20:29:00.002-06:00

We just got back from a neighborhood watch meeting. There have been three homicides in our small neighborhood in the past few months. The apparent goal of the meeting as advertised was to meet the neighbors and form some sort of "street captain" to serve as the point of contact for nearby neighbors.

The meeting turned into an inquisition of the Austin Police Department. There were a bunch of men and women in uniform there, and Police Chief Art Acevedo came and spoke, too. (Amy: "I can see why you like men in uniform so much" as she stepped in between me and a particularly amazingly attractive policeman who pretty much is my soul mate. I'll be running a lot of red lights in hopes of finding him again. You're welcome, City of Austin residents. I might singlehandedly pay for all sidewalk improvements.) I digress.

So after sitting through an eternity of questions like, "Why didn't the police officer get out of his car?" "Have you revised all your policies after the New Years Day murder?" "What's the percentage increase for crime in my neighborhood over the last 6 months and have you increased your forces by the same percentage?" and "Why don't y'all use bloodhounds?"

....I decided I really didn't want to have to meet all these loons. Granted, I will definitely take Chief Acevedo's advice and be a good neighbor and a nosy neighbor, but COME ON.

Thus, Angry Elf Emily dragged Amy out of the auditorium as Emily gazed into aforementioned policeman's eyes and meaningfully said, "Thank you for your service."

Someday....I will find you....

Time.

2011-12-30T15:02:00.000-06:00

“I don’t really want more time;

I just want enough time.

Time to breathe deep & time to see real & time to laugh long, time to give You glory & rest deep & sing joy…

I just want time to do my one life well.

Life at its fullest is this sensitive, detonating sphere —

and it can be carried only in the hands of the unhurried and reverential—

a bubble held in awe.”

~ One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

Europe Trip - Part 1: DC and England

2011-11-18T20:38:00.004-06:00

August 31, 2011. Herein beginneth the journey. Successfully dodged a creeper at the airport, enjoyed Bloody Marys at the Earl Campbell bar, and now we're about 40 minutes from landing in DC for our 1 hour layover. Oh, Washington, DC. How I miss you...

And then the 1 hour layover turned into a 21 hour layover. We were stuck at Dulles with nowhere to go.. we were like cattle being herded from Gate C-20 to C-4, then back to C-20, then back to C-4, then back to C-20 (I'm not kidding). Picture the rage. People get upset when they have to sit on the tarmac an extra five minutes. Note to self: Continental Airlines is going downhill fast thanks to United, and no one seems to care. Add another airline to the list of airlines to avoid.

So then they gave us vouchers at Holiday Inn Express (Emily) and the Landsdowne Resort (Amy), so we opted for the Resort. Time check: it's 2 in the morning. Shuttle buses quit running at 1:45am naturally, so we had to pool our cash together to get a van to take us (Amy, me, and 3 other exhausted travelers) to the Landsdowne. One of the passengers was quite the know-it-all, traveling with his rather irritating hair slicked back into a tight ponytail, complete with ringlets.

Amy, when reliving the trip: "I just wanted to cut off his curly ponytail."

Upon arrival at the hotel, we asked for any sort of toiletries they had available, as ALL OUR LUGGAGE WAS STILL ON THE PLANE.. and the guy hands us each a toothbrush. "New technology," he bragged, "the toothpaste is already inside the brush."

Gee. Thanks.

So we slept in between trying to connect with Mom's sweet friend Patty in London to tell her we were going to be an entire day late.... got up, taxied in to town (hi $100 fare. Reminder: never fly into Dulles), and barely made it to prayer at IJM. How WONDERFUL to see them! This was my first time back to my old job since my ridiculously rapid departure last December. After prayer, we walked to Costco for DDL (Dollar Dog Lunch), and I soaked up as much as I could of these fabulous people.

Warmed my heart to see so many old friends. Made the ever-present Austin vs. DC dilemma all the more difficult.

We rode the Metro to the American History Museum and Old Post Office where I snapped my new favorite photo:

Amy: "All I gotta say is we'd better get the royal treatment. I expect a hot towel."

We watched Louis CK's "Everything is amazing and nobody's happy" routine a couple of times. Arrived in London AT LAST.

When debriefing the flight, specifically the family that climbed over us the majority of the flight:
Amy: "They might as well have taken an entire row. They had four children."
Emily: "And the dad had terrible breath."

Met up with Patty, Gregory, and Olivia Easter and headed over to a lovely little Italian cafe for breakfast... we had a whopping 2 hours time in London and sadly couldn't visit their home in Windsor. Patty looks exactly the same as I remember her, but the kids have grown up so much!!! (And yes, I've totally become a cheek pincher despite the fact that I am only 27).

King's Cross? Pancras? I can't remember. Something about the Olympics coming.

Yes, we backpacked... unnecessarily.

Precious family...

Ok, I was told by dweeby Harry Potter fans (yes this means you, Eray, Patrick and Traci) that Platform 9 3/4 had special significance in life. So here I am, doing what pretty much every other tourist (ahem, the ones who knew what they were doing) did: woowoo! Look at me! I'm pushing half a cart into a brick wall!!.

This is a big deal.... if you're into this sort of thing... which I'm not.

And then our two hours were up, so we said a quick goodbye and boarded a train (this tour would come to be known as the Modes of Transportation Tour.... ) for Edinburgh, Scotland. Four hour ride...and it was just marvelous outside.

Views of the sea are gorgeous.
On the left is freshly cut hay piled high,
paddocks lined in green
Steep hills almost ripe for harvest
lush fields chocked full of life
Quaint roads winding dark and steep
CHUBBY SHEEP.
Old buildings - how old?
Trees stout and stumpy like green
cotton balls
Of course a brook
Fences made of little rocks
A pine forest? Sure.

I could get used to this place.

Ernest Henningway

2011-11-18T20:26:00.002-06:00

Brace yourselves, folks.

There is a chicken (hen or rooster TBD) living in our backyard.

Yeah, crazy. I know. Its name is Ernest Henningway (because he/she is a rogue traveler).... not sure where it came from. Neighbors Maggie and Ashley saw it crossing the road, and instead of telling themselves the old joke that is just plain pointless and laughing (as I would have done), they took pity on it and put it in our backyard (they asked us, and besides, the feathers spewing from their backyard that would inevitably follow the introduction of the dumb dogs and Ernest would be all over our pathetic excuse for a yard).

So yeah, hyper-terrified-of-birds me has one in the backyard. This is progress. I've even been out back twice, witnessed the squawking and haven't a) shot it or b) run inside terrified.

Deep breaths. Small steps. There is a monster in the backyard. Knock knock.

"The Flea Party"

2011-10-13T18:55:00.004-05:00

I've held my tongue -- you're welcome -- on this whole #OWS Occupy Wall Street joke, but I can't take it any longer. This sent me over the edge. Port-a-Potties are one of those "basic human rights"?!?!

Ok, big picture. They're putting on this show because they're ultimately mad at Congress/Obama for the state of this country. Misplaced blame is a pet peeve o' mine. Kinda like when people call their State Representative to complain about a bill that's before their U.S. Congressman, or blame aforementioned State Representative for voting for Obamacare. Really. It's like slovenly folk picketing in front of the makeup counter at CVS because other people are more attractive than they are when wearing makeup purchased at aforementioned counter. A stretch? Ok, I'll slow down.

But I will close with this: a list of Hollywood idiots to boycott. And I'm going to get serious about this whole boycotting-movies-that-star-ridiculously-good-looking-people-or-listening-to-and-buying-music-that-has-a-great-beat-but-may-be-spreading-anti-American-sentiment thing, because I've got my rights, and one of 'em is to keep my $10 in my purse and not hand it over to the movie theater, and keep my mind from wandering to stupid lyrics that so nicely accompany a song I like to hear...just because it has a good beat.

The list of celebrities who have visited and/or supported #OWS, the delinquent "Flea Party" <-- you have to admit, that's funny stuff):

Kanye West (big surprise)
Russell Simmons (go hang out with your fellow victim Warren Buffet. I feel so sorry for you.)
Michael Moore (I DID sleight you/your Fahrenheit 9/11 by paying for a different movie and sneaking into your movie in 2004)
Al Sharpton (you are a joke. Please retire from the need to be seen.)
Charles Rangel (you too.)
Tim Robbins (Well, I liked Morgan Freeman more than you in The Shawshank Redemption.)
Penn Badgley (Um, you were apparently on Gossip Girl... and thus I am judging you for that anyway)
Susan Sarandon (I know you're trouble. My love for Christian Bale trumps the boycott for 1 movie: Little Women. Marmie, I forgive you just this once).
Yoko Ono (lady, sorry for your loss you've been milking for money for years now, but is the road to peace truly making a mess in a city park?)
Alec Baldwin (you again. Your parody of Perry on SNL needs some work, but you totally nailed the hairdo.)
Jane Fonda (wretch.)

That's all for now. Thanks for reading.

2011 Fredericksburg Fourth of July Parade!!

2011-09-25T20:12:00.008-05:00

It's no secret that the Fourth of July is by far my favorite holiday (see 2010, 2009 and again).... and the 2011 festivities did not disappoint. Here are some photos from the parade:

Things kicked off with an impressive flyover:

When I first saw this kid, I thought his t-shirt said "AC/DC," and I thought it was a bit inappropriate for such a little guy to wear not only sunglasses and a bandana hat, but really? AC/DC? Upon closer look....

Old vets waving. Gets me every time.

Oh pass the tissues.

Flags in face.

Reenactors from the Nimitz Museum... next reenactment is October 1-2!

Singing, check. Small flag, check. Sign with tinsel, check.

Be still my heart.

Precious little girl with somewhat creepy clown

Kid in a refrigerator box-turned army tank. How cute is this?!

Little kis in big trucks. Do we see a trend?

There are no words. Patriotism personified, folks.

This is also quite the dedicated parade participant.

Old cars.

Obligatory up close shot of old car

And again.

She loves the U.S. Constitution. Not sure who she is, but she looks like a visionary of sorts.

Look at the kid on the right. Entirely regretting his decision to kick and scream and insist that he too be on the float. It's just too blazing hot.

Spooky is a great word. This photo does not endorse nor recommend services of this DJ.

Much like the kid in the photo two above, this girl was regretting throwing that tantrum about the pony and the patriotic helmet... I'm pretty sure she was glaring at her cousin who was scarfing down some Blue Bell on the curb.

That's, all folks!

Oh wait, but that's the great thing about the Fredericksburg parade... they drive up Main Street then back down! Here's the Church's Chicken creepster car:

I'm a fan, too....(next one is June 8-9, 2012!)

Saluting the veterans...

Great afternoon snack of delicious watermelon on the back porch!!

Another good day in the life.

Off to the Races!

2011-09-25T19:55:00.004-05:00

'ehhlo. I'm back. Forgive the delay. These will mostly be picture posts as it's been nearly three months and my memory isn't that great.

First up: the horse races in der Fredericksburg July 2-3!

....that's Professional Bull Riders... not the beer. I just liked the sky and the crisp little sign.

So yeah. There's a lot that goes into horse racing...and not just betting and winning (or losing terribly in the case of yours truly). Things like what these gents do... thought it's not exactly determinable what this is by this picture... I just liked the blue and green.

This little cowpoke was standing in line with his bettin' mom. Check out how worn out these boots are!!

Someone strategizing on the horses... she may have correctly bet on the right horse 3 races in a row!

Funny... and lots of white.

Heeeeeeere they are!

I love small towns.

"C'mon, Dover! Move your bloomin' ......"

Good times.

Stonewall Peach JAMboree

2011-07-14T21:09:00.006-05:00

June 18. This is a slice of Texas.

First up: Mutton Bustin'! Little kids hang onto sheep for dear life...some are more successful than others:

Ok, kid, seriously. It's been 5 minutes. You're FINE.

Precious kiddos everywhere:

The crowning of the Peach Queen!

Star Spangled Banner gets us started for the real deal rodeo

Love this.

And then I asked myself, "Self?! Why do you to this to myself?!"

Attractive cowboy

Look at her little pigtails!

Crashing in slow-mo

Funnel cake. Good times.

Hello, sir: want to come to our Mustache party?!

This kid looks just like Ratley (Trey) did when he was little!

Gearing up for battle

Best buds

Leon the Clown (yes, the same Leon who is at the Houston Rodeo for all you Houston Rodeo old-timers!)... this is his jalopy "blowing up"...

Because wild cow milking is a totally normal thing to do...

Lost kid in the middle of the calf scramble

Can't get any cuter than this!

Bull was charging the clown!!

The end.

Brought to you by...

Sneak Preview of Incendiary: The Willingham Case

2011-07-08T11:22:00.002-05:00

Who's with me??

Incendiary event is Tuesday 7/12 from 6-10pm.

Let's go!

Aggie Football

2011-07-06T22:02:00.000-05:00

I mean... if you're into this sort of thing....

Mumford and Sons

2011-06-29T08:46:00.001-05:00

Like.

Follows Directions - Needs Improvement

2011-06-27T21:46:00.002-05:00

Warning: the sub par photos in this post are a direct result of the droid referenced in bullet point 7 of this posting...

Ahem. Sunday the awkward turtle gang (oh yes I just did) went to Painting with a Twist, where they gave 50% of their profits for the evening to the National Dating Abuse Helpline where Kristin works as a Development Officer, doing things that matter (shoutout! LOL!).

Here's what David the Instructor aka "Your Greatness" aka "Oh Wise One" (ladies, he may be single. You should totally check him out if you're into the whole inflated titles thing) guided the class of 30+ people to paint: an Austin skyline:

Lame. No offense, but really, who picked out that color scheme? When I think Austin downtown, the colors of wimpy yellow and sickly diaper brown/caramel don't come to mind. And clear blue water = Town Lake? Ah, no. Time to improvise.

And the winner is: Amy's stellar monochromatic skyline. She is so talented!!!

And the Defiant Child Award goes to Yours Truly. What do you MEAN there is no Capitol in the skyline? I'll fix yer wagon and make it as big as the Frost Building. Dang hippies. And add a sailboat, too, while we're at it.

Shockingly, Amy and I were the only two people who didn't follow Wise One's teachings. Judge accordingly.

Home again, home again, here is our mantle at StellarHouse:

Rock on.

TED Talk: Daniel Tammet: Different ways of knowing.

2011-06-23T08:50:00.001-05:00

"The world is richer, vaster than it too often seems to be." ~Daniel Tammet

Now THIS is talent.

2011-06-16T18:21:00.000-05:00

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front

2011-06-16T12:50:00.003-05:00

by Wendell Berry

Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.

So, friends, every day do something
that won't compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.
Love someone who does not deserve it.
Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.

Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.

Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.
Listen to carrion - put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?

Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.
As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn't go. Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.
Practice resurrection.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front" from The Country of Marriage, copyright © 1973 by Wendell Berry

A good day.

2011-06-15T21:37:00.007-05:00

Hey remember that time I tried 5 times to upload one post? Yeah, that was so fun.

So yesterday was my birthday. Flag Day 2011. Fun facts: it has been said by "them" that the white on our flag signifies purity and innocence; red = hardiness and valor; blue is for vigilance, perseverance, and justice. Herein endeth the lesson. Onward.

Birthdays are fun. Several observations: it's fun to get a bunch of facebook messages and wall writes from friends. I even got a message from my 6th grade English teacher, Sister Cabrini (yes, Catholic school days)! Also, I do not feel any older. In fact, I feel younger than last year. I think it's the "late 20's" calling... and I'm desperately clinging to the "mid 20s" for at least another year.

Amy gave me an artistic rendering of how I view the United States...

We enjoyed a Chick-Fil-A catered lunch!! And yes, I did invite friends....Allison not only coordinated lunch, she made patriotic cakes in mason jars!! Red velvet cake, homemade buttercream icing, fresh blueberries, and a scoop of Blue Bell ice cream on top! SO good!

Mom and Dad came in town and we went to Gumbo's... now we're talking! Topped off entirely too much (delicious) food with New Orleans custard and a glass of port wine.

But wait! There's more!! Fredericksburg peaches from Vogel Orchard!! Yes, I'm making peach cobbler very soon. Who's your friend?

Came home pleasantly plump to find that Amy made me a vat of chocolate chip cookie dough. What a day, what a day.

And THEN Kristin and Amy took me out for Thai food tonight and I showed off my new hipster shades.... and here's my new facebook profile pic:

So grateful. So richly blessed.

Appreciation is the highest form of prayer, for it acknowledges the presence of good wherever you shine the light of your thankful thoughts.

- (Alan Cohen)

At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.

- (Albert Schweitzer)

I have a quote at the base of my computer screen: "Enough is great riches." - (a Danish proverb). Having so much more than enough leaves me speechless. Thanks, y'all.

FREAK OUT AND THROW THINGS

2011-06-15T11:55:00.001-05:00

Want to get stressed out and start screaming or curl up in the fetal position? Check out this exciting website:

http://www.usdebtclock.org/

AUGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What's going to happen to us!?!?!?!?

Probably not a site I should refer constituents to, eh?

Thus beginneth the rant.

2011-06-07T22:14:00.003-05:00

I will try to be a mature adult and refrain from using expletives. Mrs. Sestak (high school math teacher) always said cuss words were for people who weren't smart enough to communicate using real words....

So here's the deal. This whole concept of "keep your expectations low" is totally new terrain to me and seems un-American, un-Christian,... un-Emily. I mean, come on: it's not just because I watched Great Expectations (the black and white version, people - it was way better) way more often than any normal child should.

And no, I'm not talking about dating either. I'm talking about every aspect of life. In having high standards, does it not go without saying that one would have high expectations? Point is this: I approach just about everything with ridiculously high expectations. Chalk it up to being an uptight perfectionist with a vivid imagination? Can I get away with it then?

Going through life expecting the best, shooting for the moon, even missing landing among the stars, right? That's what all the motivational posters and self help books (don't judge) said... and when I look back on the many, many years of my life (getting reflective, people, my birthday is a week away), I think I've been blessed with some good times.... and gone after things I wouldn't have done had I wanted to keep a dull existence.

This is what I was taught! Keep a sunny disposition, aim high, strive for greatness, etc. etc. etc.

Well now I just feel bloody confused and am not quite sure what is okay to hope for. I feel like an amorphous blob of hesitancy and it makes me want to scream. Gone is that spark that there is hope in the possibilities of great things ahead. How depressing to go through life and not expect anything great in order to be pleasantly surprised! It seems somewhat less depressing to live in hopes of great things happening, but being disappointed because rarely can things measure up to what my awesome imagination has orchestrated. Well, I can tell you that it's even more gloomy to be caught in this no-man's land confused about what I'm "supposed to" wish for.

Is it good enough to just be who I am wired to be, aim high, and have my expectations met from time to time? Or be some sort of settler (not the pioneer type) who is okay with whatever, man?

I'm conflicted (clearly). In holding myself back from hoping for great things, I feel like.... not myself. No direction, no passion. Not a fun place. It's killing me.

.... pause. Deep breaths.....

SO after working this issue out for all you loyal subjects to read, I have determined that I may AND shall return to having high expectations.

(even though I have apparently worked this issue out as mentioned in the paragraph above, I would still greatly welcome your thoughts on this subject.)

Great expectations, eh, Pip? (It's okay, they know me here...)

Loco & Dissent Calendar!!

2011-05-29T17:27:00.003-05:00

So for all you non-consumed-with-Texas-politics people, please calm down and know that these are not real bills. It's a quick recap of the session meant to entertain. Just smile and nod and wait for my next thrilling post. For the rest of you (what? no one left?), here is the Loco & Dissent Calendar for the 82nd Legislative Session!

****************************************************************
Supplemental LOCO AND DISSENT Calendar
Sunday, May 29, 2011
12:01 a.m.
****************************************************************
******** LOCAL, CONSENT, AND RESOLUTIONS CALENDAR ********

THIRD READING
HR 1/11/11 Truitt
Recognizing me for literally setting the tone for the 82nd session with a rendition of the Star Spangled Banner that left onlookers wondering "Couldn't anyone have come up with a better idea for the people of Texas than this?" Providing for this to become a recurring mantra for nearly every issue before the Legislature this session.

HR 37 Freshmen Beck / Lyne / Nash / Scott / et al.
Recognizing the fact that no one ever learned our names and that most members couldn't identify us if we were on the back of a milk carton; providing that no one is obligated to learn our names until we’ve served three terms—it’s just easier that way.

HR 101 Straus
Alright! Supermajority! This is gonna be E-A-S-Y, like the Titanic setting the transatlantic record!

HR Rule 4, Section 32(c) Geren
Recognizing that hiring Hugh Brady as our new House Committee Coordinator might be the only way to keep him from killing so many of our bills.

HB 1451 Thompson
Relating to the licensing and regulation of commercial breeders who breed dogs to track down and maul David Simpson.

HB 2093 Thompson
Relating to R-E-S-P-E-C-T, finding out what it means to me, taking care, and TCB.

Amendment by Riddle
Relating to porn on the House floor. No, I didn't see it myself, but I have an anonymous retired FBI source who told me it was there.

HB 62-and-counting Thompson
Relating to yeah, that’s right, that’s the number of bills it felt like I passed on Local this session, and if you don’t like it, I will knock you the hell out.

******** UNFINISHED BUSINESS ********
SENATE BILLS
SECOND READING
SB 1 Ogden
Relating to, will somebody remind me why I decided to come back and do this again? What was I thinking?

SB 14 Fraser
Sp: Harless
Relating to me getting to sponsor this bill in the House because I am both smarter and better-looking than Fraser—but don’t tell him that, he still thinks he’s prettier.

SB 31 Seliger
Sp: Solomons
Relating to the composition of the districts for the election of members of the Texas Senate; providing the closest thing male legislators will ever get to screwing Wendy Davis.

Amendment 1 by Thompson / Riddle
This is EXACTLY the kind of thing we're talking about. Pigs.

Amendment 2 by Alvarado / Dukes / Hernandez Luna
Is anyone going to tell Riddle that Ms. T. was actually giving a pro-choice speech?
Amendment 3 by Riddle
Huh?

Amendment 4 by Alvarado / Dukes / Hernandez Luna
Nothing. Never mind.

SB 354 Wentworth
Relating to the fact that everyone is worrying too much about this campus carry nonsense. The way we're set to de-fund Higher Ed, there won’t be any campuses to carry on anyway.

SB 407 Watson
Sp: Craddick
Relating to the creation of a sexting offense that will lower the penalty for any lewd offenses Watson’s teen-aged son and his friends might commit.

******** MAJOR STATE CALENDAR ********
HOUSE BILLS
SECOND READING

HB 1(-800-HAIR-CLUB-FOR-MEN) Pitts
Relating to appropriations for my new poodle ’do, which seemed to surface at the most unusual times during session; thanking the Bosley Hair Restoration Clinic for all their hard work.

HB 12 Solomons
Relating to the enforcement of state and federal laws governing immigration by certain wings of certain political parties.

Amendment 1 by Aliseda
Providing that my skin is brown, I look Hispanic, and I’m not afraid of House Bill 12 because I’ve never suffered from ethnic profiling, unnecessary detention, or harassment—well, not until I came to the Capitol and Roland Gutierrez profiled me as being too dumb to think for myself, detained me unnecessarily for 10 minutes at the front mic, and harassed me in Spanish like I didn't know what he was saying.

Amendment 2 by Gutierrez
Relating to the use of the word "colleague." Clarifying that in Spanish, it actually means "a-hole," as you've probably figured out by the condescending way I use it.

Amendment 3 by Howard, Charlie
Relating to asking for the exchange in Spanish between Aliseda and Gutierrez to be reduced to writing, translated, spread in the journal, and deported.

******** POSTPONED BUSINESS ********
HB 3790 Pitts
Relating to state fiscal matters. (POSTPONED.)
************************************

HB 15 Miller, Sid
Providing that a fetus must show a photo ID that matches its sonogram photo before a woman can abort it.

Amendment by Riddle
Providing an exception to the new sonogram law in the event the woman is pregnant with a terror baby.

******** GENERAL STATE CALENDAR ********
HOUSE BILLS
SECOND READING

HB 0 Martinez Fischer
Relating to the number of bills I passed this session. Dammit, Dunnam! You could have at least told me that once I became the back-mic jockey all my bills would be DOA! Hell, BURNAM passed two bills this session!

HB 2 Burnam
Relating to the fact that I doubled the number of bills I passed last session. Three bills in two sessions after being shut out under Craddick! It’s almost like I’m a real legislator now.

HB 243 Craddick
Relating to the creation of an offense for certain improper uses of Alexander Graham Bell’s new-fangled harmonic telegraph.

HB 359 Allen
Relating to the use of corporal punishment in public schools.

Amendment by Miller, Sid
Striking all below the enacting clause so my school principals can continue striking all below their students’ belt line.

HB 716 Miller, Sid
Relating to the taking of certain feral hogs using a helicopter; but not black helicopters, or those from the One World Government that are always circling my home.

HB 1137 Darby / Gargamel / Asrael / Papa Smurf / et al.
Relating to the transmission of records regarding the over-the-smurf sales of smurfs, and a smurf's civil smurf for certain smurfs arising from the smurfing of smurfs.

Amendment by King, Phil
Striking from the record my conspicuous line of questioning about whether my wife was still going to be able to buy COPIOUS amounts of pseudoephedrine from drugstores … no reason, just asking, we've got allergies at our house …

******** POSTPONED BUSINESS ********
HB 3790 Pitts
Relating to state fiscal matters. Sorry, members, we're going to have to postpone just one more time. I promise, next time for sure though.
************************************

HB 1937 Simpson
Sp: Patrick
Relating to making "Come and Touch It" the new Gonzales Battle Flag; providing for something else in place of the cannon; and no, those are not wheels.

Amendment by Patrick
Amending SECTION 1 of the bill to strike all below the enacting clause and substitute my campaign filing for U.S. Senate.

HB 1984 Simpson
Relating to my inability to separate George Orwell's writings from real life. Providing for tin-foil hats to be worn by all gentlemen on the house floor. (No reason to protect the women; the New Testament doesn't allow them to vote).

HB 1994 Weber
Sp: Van de Putte
Relating to the creation of "john schools," including the Drew Nixon Memorial School for Dudes Just Looking for a Good Time; providing that this may be the only education bill we pass all session.

HB 2189 Elkins
Sp: Deuell
Relating to the regulation of "noodling" and … you're doing what with your hands? Putting them where?!? You boys need to get out more.

HB 2756 Lavender
Relating to the authority of a person who to openly carry a handgun providing that they have a Wyatt Earp-style moustache and acknowledge that they are making up for something they keep concealed because it's not as ample as what's in their holster.

Amendment 1 by Borris Miles’ Moustache
Wait just a damn second … you mean we’re not already allowed to pull a gun in public places and threaten people with it? I did it and got away with it.

Amendment 2 by King, Phil
AH! The 'stache. I miss my 'stache! Almost as much as I miss being an effective member.

HB 2940 King, Tracy
Relating to, who do you ask to carry a bill "relating to the form of death certificates and fetal death certificates"? Why, the member who most closely resembles an undertaker, of course.

HB 3422 Lozano
Relating to all the Anglo members now wondering if "Pepito" is Spanish for "Squiggy."

******** POSTPONED BUSINESS ********
HB 3790 Pitts
Relating to state fiscal matters. Just kidding. Postponed again.
************************************

HB 3736 Martinez, Armando (aka "The Pot")
Relating to me abusing the legislative process to stop the appointment of some dude I didn’t want appointed; providing me with an opportunity to publicly insult Pena, aka "The Kettle," about his weight.

HB 3864 Gooden
Relating to the creation of the I’m-Dating-A-Staffer District No. 1; providing authority to impose romantic bonds; granting a limited power of eminent domain over my heart.

Amendment by Gooden
By the way, PLEASE stop asking me to make copies and run errands from you from the floor. I'm a member, not a sergeant. No, seriously, it says so right here on my badge … GEREN! Hardy-har-har. Very funny. May I please have one that says "Member"?

HB 2nd Star to the Right Davis, Sarah
Relating to naming the howling pack of male legislators, staffers, and lobbyists constantly vying for my affections "The Lost Boys"; providing that I'll never grow up.

HB Jung Gum Hyung Korea 2005 Female Ninja Reading Clerk
Relating to not knowing what is worse: That male members are surfing for porn on the floor, or that they are surfing for YouTube videos of me doing some wicked things with a sword; providing that if some of you skeevy pervs come on to me, I will
decapitate you like I’m Uma Thurman from Kill Bill.

HB 162.400 MHz Male Reading Clerk
Relating to me reading bills like I’m the automated voice on the NOAA weather radio station; providing for me to read the following passage from the front mic on Sine Die: "Today's forecast for the Austin area: Sunny, high of 95 degrees. Overnight becoming mostly cloudy. Lows in the low 70s. Becoming increasingly cloudy overnight to early morning."

Amendment by Speak & Spell
I find his voice to be strangely attractive.

******** POSTPONED BUSINESS ********
HB 3790 Pitts
Members, I'd like to take up and consider … PSYCH. Postponed.
************************************

HB (Unintelligible) Gallego
Relatingtosomethingthatimnotreallysayingveryloudlyjustsortofmumblingherebut
dontworryitsnotthatbigadealitjustabolishesthedeathpenaltyandsoimovepassagegracias.

HB Engine 68 Hardcastle
Relating to the ridiculous number of wildfire updates I've given on the house floor this session, when they could all be summed up like this: It's hot. Stuff is on fire. We need rain.

Amendment by Davis, Sarah
Striking all below the enacting clause and replacing it with me doing an impression of Hardcastle, because I do a better Hardcastle than Hardcastle.

HB How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days Weber
Relating to me debating an entire bill, nay, an entire CALENDAR, with my red Oakleys perched on my head like I’m Matthew McConaughey or sumthin'!

HB 2003 All Over Again Mallory Caraway
Relating to how I've been giving this a lot of thought, and I've come up with a brilliant plan to stop the Republicans: All the Democrats should just go to Oklahoma, and with only 101 members left, the Republicans won't be able to get a quorum! See how clever I am?

Amendment by House Democratic Caucus
Stupendous, Barbara! Hey, tell you what, you go first, and we'll meet you there. We may be a little late. Keep waiting for us until at least June.

******** POSTPONED BUSINESS ********
HB 3790 Pitts
Hey, Charlie Brown! Why don't you come kick this football. I promise I won't pull it away this time … oops! Postponed.
************************************

HB 24/7 Bonnen
Relating to how much time it feels like I spent in the Speaker's Chair this session as I belittle members and the process because I feel like a BMOC when I'm standing up here.

HB FOX 7 Veasey
Relating to me always being able to fall back on my second career as the voice of "Cleveland" from The Family Guy.

HB $17,431 Driver
Relating to my idea to fix this whole school finance thing: We all write personal checks to our school districts, then we bill it to our campaign accounts and pay ourselves back out of that, then fill out an expense report and get the state to reimburse us as well! Trust me, it will work!

******** POSTPONED BUSINESS ********
HB 3790 Pitts
Alright fine. You guys really want to take this up? Okay, here we go … except now it's SB 1811 and you have to re-file all your amendments. And guess what I'm going do with it!?! POSTPONED!!
************************************

HB c.1924 Jones, Delwin
Relating to, why won't my key work in my office? How come my ID won't let me into the parking garage? Who moved my huge trailer of junk? I'm so confused. Someone call Governor Connally. He knows me! He'll straighten this whole thing out.

HB She-looked-21-to-me Hamilton
Relating to the fact that you may need a photo ID to vote, but you don't need one to drink in my office on Tuesdays!

******** CONCURRENT RESOLUTIONS CALENDAR ********
HOUSE & SENATE CONCURRENT RESOLUTIONS

SCR 35 Wentworth
Sp: Miller, Doug
Designating western swing as the official State Music of Texas? Seriously? Hey, the 1940s called; it wants its music back.

HCR Seal Team Six Berman
Demanding to see Osama Bin Laden's long-form death certificate.

HCR 10th Amendment Creighton
Re-claiming sovereignty under the Tenth Amendment over all powers not otherwise enumerated to … what? What’s that you say? What do you mean, "An HCR is just a piece of paper"? Don’t you know I’m the chairman of a … what? Yes it is TOO a real committee! It says so right on my office nameplate outside my door!

HCR 42 Cain
Designating my poem about 42 as the official State Poem of Texas; providing an excuse for why I did nothing else all session. (What, do you think that thing wrote itself?)

HCR 5'0" Sheets
Naming Kenny Boy this year's recipient of the Jack Stick Memorial Stepping Stool; providing him mad props for beating us to the punch by scripting that exchange with Aliseda.

******** POSTPONED BUSINESS ********
UNTIL 1:00 P.M. ON TUESDAY, JULY 12, 2011
HB 82(1) Perry, Rick
Relating to me seein’ y’all again soon. Very soon. Until then … Adios, mofo’s!

Woo-sah....

2011-05-18T21:14:00.003-05:00

I went to a meditation class tonight at my gym AND ACTUALLY MEDITATED.

Impressive, right? The curiously serene little teacher, Bob, was taken aback that I'd never meditated before, and apparently the rest of the class were frequent meditators, gauging their oh-so-wise glances in my direction. Settling down with a firm pillow and a blanket, I followed everyone else's lead and--

**sidenote - I've recently become overly conscious of how often I use "I" and "me" and "my" in daily speech after all the Obama vs. Dubya speech comparison email forwards.... but let me tell you it's just plain tough to tell you what I thought of meditation today without talking about... me. Don't judge. I digress.**

--sat cross legged (no one says "Indian-style" anymore) in the back of the room. Now boys and girls, we'll have forty minutes of silence, then talk about what we experienced." Wait, what? No soothing chimes? Bubbling brooks?? Buddhist incantations?!!? Gregorian chants??? Enya??!?! What am I getting myself into?!? I seriously considered bolting for the door once everyone's eyes were closed.

Bob gave me a quick intro that included the importance of "letting go" and "focusing on what is true and holy" and not creating high expectations for tangible results after my first time of meditating. Fine, Bob, I'll stay for you. A couple minutes into it, I thought, Awesome: I can pray! 40 minutes! Jesus! But... admit I quickly forgot approximately 34.72 seconds later. K, how about not beating myself up for thinking? That's a start....

Bottom line: I survived. My legs fell asleep twice, but it became easier to sit still and be still without my mind racing with at least 4 subjects in gear at all times... easier to just be.

Ya know, this is what I love so about traveling, about being outside my comfort zone. So I've never been to Europe, or the usual places people go when they want to relax.... my idea of relaxation is a perilous ride in the back of a taxi in a third world country where no one speaks English and I have no clue where I'm going. The relinquishing of control - knowing that there's only God and me and he has to pull through... dependence on God. That's what I love about traveling. Yeah.

Funny how after being still you tend to pick up on little things you missed. I'm sitting in my bedroom and am surrounded by the chirping of crickets outside my wall o' windows. The whirring of the fan, the stillness.... the no-Law-&-Order:-Special-Victims-Unit blaring from my TV....thanks, Bob....er.... God. I needed a reminder on what it's like to be still.

Come to Texas, All Ye Who Are Terrorists, And We Shall Admit You

2011-05-13T13:53:00.002-05:00

So in addition to our ridiculously porous southern border for which we receive paltry federal assistance (see here and here and here and....), we now passed a bill that would ban "offensive" pat downs in airports.

In other words, in case you are a terrorist, and don't feel like crossing the Rio Grande because the Texas heat isn't agreeing with you, you can always get on a plane and....

Geez people.

"They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little safety deserve neither liberty nor safety." ~Benjamin Franklin

The benefits of having a roommate

2011-04-25T13:32:00.002-05:00

And folks, there's more benefits than just having someone to split the cost of utilities with.

When the roommate is a fellow blogger, I merely have to link to stories instead of typing them up for myself! Exhibit A: The Tale of The Weekend of the Parents in the Station of the College.

So thanks, Amy, for being a time and money saver.

Are there no rules of engagement?

2011-04-22T09:31:00.002-05:00

That was a hypothetical question. Rant starting.

I was sitting in the rocking chair on our lovely front porch a la Miss DuBose this morning (To Kill A Mockingbird reference for all you illiterate people out there)... sans the Confederate pistol under her shawl... and a shawl.

Mosquitoes were out in full force! At 9:00am!! What the heck?! That is all kinds of disrespectful. Pesky mosquitoes should know their place. Their place is in the swamplands. Near brackish water. At your picnic when it is July and you have citronella candles and OFF! bug spray in bulk. This is APRIL!!! In the MORNING!! During a drought!! How rude.

And from wikipedia:

Mosquitoes prefer some people over others. The preferential victim's sweat simply smells better than others because of the proportions of the carbon dioxide, octenol and other compounds that make up body odor.

How droll. I'm flattered. Really.

Rant over, along with my time on the front porch.

Unsuccessful Attempt to be Still...or How Not to Make a Good Impression on the Neighbor.

2011-04-11T21:39:00.004-05:00

So I really get the whole Ecclesiastes 11:6 idleness thing:

⁶ Sow your seed in the morning,
and at evening let your hands not be idle,
for you do not know which will succeed,
whether this or that,
or whether both will do equally well.

I'm awesome at being not-idle. Not that I'm always running about doing good, but I have a tough time sitting around and doing nothing. Watching TV? I'm also hanging masks and doing my nails and preparing my taxes and cooking and reorganizing my dresser drawers. I have adopted Mom's refrain of "I haven't sat down all day." Yesterday was an epic failure in terms of idleness....or, um "being still," as it is sometimes more acceptable to say. I tried to lay out in the back yard to catch some rays (semi idle, right? Just laying there and letting the sun fry my skin..while catching up on current events via World Magazine and running through the afternoon's to-do list and...well, you get the idea). Enter stage right: the alley neighbor's dog started yapping, and if it's one thing I don't like, it's yapping alley neighbor dogs. I wavered in and out of alertness after abandoning magazine and opting for a nap, and know for a fact that I yelled repeatedly (and in a very exasperated voice), "shut up shut up SHUT UPPPPP, DOGGGG!!! GOSH!!!" to no avail. The yapping continued, then I heard a guy saying calmly, "hey boy, let's keep it down, alright?" or something equally mousy (when compared to MY angry yelps). And now I'm too embarrassed to go out the back door for fear of aforementioned calm neighbor boy seeing me and confirming that I'm Cruella de Ville in the flesh.

Good thing there's a front porch. Maybe the dude won't recognize me if/when I ever see him again.

Harriet Elephante

2011-04-11T21:26:00.003-05:00

Amy now has a blog. And she is paying me (in homecooked meals) to give a shout-out to it.

http://harrietelephante.blogspot.com/

There are some of my (not so) epic quotes along the right side of the page. There are not yet any posts on this supposed blog of hers, but expect. great. things. She's a clever one, she is.

Now where is my hot meal?!

Missing DC (part 1)

2011-04-10T07:55:00.002-05:00

I got up early this morning to watch the Global Prayer Gathering 2011 online (you should too! It's almost over, so hurry! http://gpgonline.ijm.org/), and am mega-missing the stellar team I was so fortunate to work with for 2 years. If only I could move the entire headquarters to Austin....

Anyway, just a little shout out to my peeps at IJM HQ in DC.... and especially the amazing production team for delivering GPG to those of us who couldn't make it to DC this year.

I miss y'all.

The progression

2011-03-14T21:03:00.003-05:00

hotmail (back when we used to get on the internet and look up recipes for Mrs. Justiss' Home Economics class.... oh, was I the only one?)
MSN messenger (Mrs. Sembera's computer class)
yahoo (oh the hours spent on yahoo messenger on a 32kbps modem)
AOL/AIM (when yahoo just didn't cut it)
gmail (ever wary of the oh-so relevant ads...but it's just so dang convenient)
facebook (currently contemplating closing my account)
smart phone (torn between wanting to throw my giant phone in the river... or use it as a shield against WMD or a raging pterodactyl)
blogspot (because everyone reads this blog, right?)
photo website (because I enjoy throwing away $30 a month for no purpose)
linkedin (the professional facebook? Don't kid yourself: it's lame.)
twitter.

I did it. I caved. I am now on twitter. @eeppright. Wavering between only tweeting my deep thoughts (because we all know how often that would be).... or being one of those "omg I just ate two slices of pizza and I'm totes feeling preggers lol" fools.

Might even get a twitter sidebar for the blog. Look out, world.

The fun begins.

Jail time... and Valentine's Day.

2011-02-14T20:56:00.004-06:00

Because I'm too tired/lazy to explicate in greater detail.... here are two random musings:

Irony... or "Ironing," as a high school classmate titled an English paper on the element of irony in "The Gift of the Magi:" I worked to get people put into jail at my old job in DC. Perpetrator Accountability. Heavy stuff. Now at my new job in Austin, I work to find ways to get people out of jail. Prison overcrowding, budget shortfall. Heavy stuff.

Boyfriend or no boyfriend, I've worn red and/or pink every single Valentine's Day just because. I love flowers. I love chocolate. I love love. This year, I rushed to work, not even thinking of a colorful wardrobe theme. A woman in another office complimented me on my hair, and I self-deprecatingly mumbled something about needing to look in the mirror and actually fix my hair today. She stared at me incredulously and said, "My DEAR! It is VALentine's Day!" as if today was my one chance to look presentable and secure a mate. Fail.

Happy Valentine's Day. Get excited if you're a prisoner in Texas.

It's Rodeo Season in Texas!!

2011-02-06T20:47:00.002-06:00

His eyes are cold and restless
His wounds have almost healed
And she'd give half of Texas
Just to change the way he feels
Well she knows his love's in Tulsa
And she knows he's gonna go
Well, it ain't no woman, in flesh and blood
It's that damned old rodeo.

Fun new goal: go to San Antonio, Austin, AND Houston rodeos this year. Lofty goal? Well, I'm kind of a big deal.

Here's the lineup of interest. Thoughts? Oh, and if you're noticing that Fort Worth was left off the list, that's because... well it's too close to Dallas. And by that I mean I just determined this goal today, which also happens to be the last day of the Fort Worth rodeo. What a shame.

Well, it's bulls and blood
It's dust and mud
It's the roar of a Sunday crowd
It's the white in his knuckles
The gold in the buckle
He'll win the next go 'round
It's boots and chaps
It's cowboy hats
It's spurs and latigo
It's the ropes and the reins
And the joy and the pain
And they call the thing rodeo.

SAN ANTONIO:

Thursday February 10: Randy Rogers

Saturday February 12: Easton Corbin

Saturday February 12: Clay Walker

Saturday February 19: Eli Young Band

Saturday February 19: Josh Turner

She does her best to hold him
When his love comes to call
But his need for it controls a man
And her back's against the wall
And it's "So long girl, I'll see ya."
When it's time for him to go
You know the woman wants her cowboy
Like he wants his rodeo

HOUSTON:

March 11 Lady Antebellum

March 12 GARY ALLAN (holy cow. this must happen).

March 18 Alan Jackson

It'll drive a cowboy crazy
It'll drive the man insane
And he'll sell off everything he owns
Just to pay to play the game
And a broken home and some broken bones
Is all he'll have to show
For all the years that he spent chasin'
This dream they call rodeo.

AUSTIN:

Saturday March 12 - Eli Young

Monday March 14 - Dierks Bentley

Tuesday March 15 - Jason Derulo

Wednesday March 16 - Blake Shelton

Thursday March 17 - Easton Corbin

Friday March 18 - Josh Turner

Monday March 21 - Joe Nichols

Wednesday March 23 - Clay Walker

Clearly Austin is superior to the other two cities to begin with, but the lineup is superior, too.. and I might even venture out... gasp... during the week!

So if you're reading this and you may be interested in coming to any of the aforementioned concerts, do let me know.

It's the broncs and the blood
It's the steers and the mud
And they call the thing rodeo

And yes, I think Garth Brooks' Rodeo was my most frequently played song on the jukebox at Pizza Hut in Gonzales growing up. Don't judge.

So that explains it!

2011-01-17T22:22:00.004-06:00

Well folks, hate to break it to ya, but..

Today is the most depressing day of the year.

Here's the formula:

Something about weather, debt, need for action, Christmas, and motivation.

Never fear, for June 17 is the happiest day of the year. There is something to hope for. Press on, people. It only gets better.

Stepping aside

2011-01-16T21:33:00.003-06:00

So here I sit at my laptop, processing what I finally did this weekend, what I put off doing for weeks, nay months. I withdrew from the Foreign Service application process.

I passed the test in June 2010, passed the essay portion in September 2010, and signed up to take the Oral Assessment (OA) on January 18, 2011. I've been so consumed with all things Texas (love ya, mean it) that I've been semi-thinking that I would just fly up to DC, take the OA, and come back.... the OA, however, falls on the day of the Perry/Dewhurst inaugural activities, and I have a job now, and... well, it jus' ain't fittin'.

So yeah. I don't view it as a "never ever again" sort of thing, but I am realizing I will one day (now?) start having to shake my gypsy tendencies. But seriously, maybe one day....

Now I'm going to distract myself by singing "Texas our Texas" or reading a day trips from Austin book or heck just continue watching the Golden Globes.

Make big plans

2011-01-03T18:14:00.000-06:00

"Make no little plans;

they have no magic

to stir men's blood

and probably themselves

will not be realized.

Make big plans;

aim high in hope and work,

remembering that

a noble, logical diagram

once recorded

will not die."

Daniel H. Burnham

2011, here we come!!

I'm moving back to Texas!!

2010-12-05T12:08:00.001-06:00

Faithful subjects,

I have an equation for you:

TX>DC+VA

Or, I am moving back to Texas. In two weeks. "The Supremacy of Texas" is a topic of conversation that I am quite good at, a subject on which I could write a book, and something that Texans understand, and other people do not fully grasp. (This is good, because otherwise they would be Texan, too, and we'd run out of room).

Austin, Texas, is where I'll call home (again), and to say I'm thrilled is the understatement of the year.

I've thoroughly enjoyed the adventures had here. Here are a few I've chronicled on ze blog - in no particular order:

Cherry Blossom Festival
friends visiting (Kayla, Merinda, Amy and Sheridan!)
trips to Annapolis and Philadelphia and New York City and Baltimore and Charlottesville and Richmond and Fredericksburg and Spotsylvania and Winston-Salem, NC
countless winery tours in Virginia
Being Patriotic - 4th of July 2010
2009 and 2010 DC Aggie BBQs
Screen on the Green in DC and VA
Memorial Day 2009
Memorial Day 2010
Muster Committee 2010
Easter Sunrise Service at Arlington Cemetery
Marine Corps Band Parades at the Iwo Jima Memorial
visiting the Franciscan Monastery
countless museums (I'm too lazy to link. Go see them all.)
Mount Vernon
Camping in the Shenandoahs
Smithsonian Folklife Festival - 2009
Countless trips to Eastern Market
Hiking at Great Falls, Maryland
Chronicling the 9/12/09 March on Washington
becoming obsessed with and later meeting the Pioneer Woman(my hero)
Honor Flight arrivals
DC Aggie events: Astros vs. Nats game, Howdy Hours, Game Watching Parties, Tubing Trip, Muster & BBQ, Intern meet-n-greets.....
Embassy tours in 2009 (Nepal, Iraq, Uzbekistan, Trinidad and Tobago, Colombia, and Indonesia) and 2010 (Portugal)
Not seeing Obama (except while he was in a limo or a helicopter)
Cycling along the Mount Vernon Trail and again with photos
Surviving the Snowpocalypse..and there were two.
Loitering around in beautiful DC
Veteran's Day 2009
Handel's Messiah at the National Cathedral in 2009 and 2010
Cheering people on at the 2009 Marine Corps Marathon
Roadtrip with Mom from TX to VA

Wow. And that's just what I can think of off the top of my head. It's been a very full two years. Great adventure indeed. I'll be here 2 more weeks and am packing in a couple more adventures before I say adios!!

Random Act of Culture

2010-11-23T10:21:00.001-06:00

This brought tears to my eyes - how beautiful! Click here to see what happened in a Philadelphia Macy's last month. Long live good singers.

Quotes getting me through life lately

2010-11-17T07:47:00.005-06:00

These are the quotes that are pinned in my cubicle above my computer.... much-needed reminders to get through ye old workday:

"He that wrestles with us strengthens our nerves and sharpens our skill."
~ Edmund Burke

"Choose not to be harmed and you won't feel harmed. Don't feel harmed and you haven't been."

~ Marcus Aurelius

THIS is the day that the Lord has made.

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine... to Him be the glory in the church and in Jesus Christ throughout all generations, forever and ever, Amen."

~ Paul's letter to the Ephesians 3:20-21

"Fortune favors the brave."

~ Virgil

"We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained."
~ Marie Curie

"How much pain have cost us the evils which have never happened!"

~ Thomas Jefferson

"Christ must increase,

but I must decrease."

~ John 3:30

Dubya.

2010-11-11T10:19:00.002-06:00

Oh, how I've missed you, Mr. President.

Just finished watching Matt Lauer's interview with George W. Bush. I don't care who you are. George is a great man. I'm grateful to know he is enjoying life now and staying out of the public eye, though I do miss knowing a man with integrity is leading our nation. And oh how I miss that West Texas drawl. I bought his memoir Decision Points on amazon and am eagerly awaiting its arrival.

Reports that the interview didn't score as well on the ratings as other lame shows says less about Bush and more about the sad state of our country.

Just a plug for a great man. Happy Veteran's Day.

Life lately

2010-11-10T17:59:00.004-06:00

Insurance is really amazing. I went to the pharmacy today and walked out with two prescriptions that totaled $20. Total. So fortunate to have a stellar co-pay.

So yeah I'm not feeling up to snuff. Haven't for nearly a month. I'm snuggled up in my big chair in sweatpants and my favorite long-sleeve Ags for Bush shirt listening to Picardy III and plotting my next trip to Texas (10 days away!).

Dinner of vegan black bean mango chili was not the comfort food I was hoping for. Shocking.

I think I'm going to watch Little Women and drink hot tea.

Today was an absolutely gorgeous day. I love the fall, falling leaves, crisp weather.

This blog post is turning into what I detest about blogs: blah blah this is my day blah blah so I'm ending this post.

That is all.

Kristof's latest blog entry

2010-10-20T18:13:00.002-05:00

A good read. Let me know your thoughts.

"How to Change the World" by Nicholas Kristof

Honor Flight

2010-10-17T15:43:00.007-05:00

Honor Flight. is. awesome.

Check out honorflight.org for more info. This superb organization coordinates World War II veterans' visits to DC: They start off with a surprise greeting at the airport, take the veterans to the memorials and a special ceremony. When the day is over, there's a dance at the airport, then they load up and head back to their home state.

If this doesn't make you proud to be an American, I don't know what will. So many of the men and women I've been able to shake hands with and thank for their service say they had no such reception when they came back to the States from the war.

Honor Flight is a chance to honor our veterans like nothing you've ever seen. What a brilliant way to show love to the Greatest Generation.

Click on the box below to see a bunch of my photos on Picasa. These are from the September 11 (Alabama) and October 16 (North Carolina and South Carolina) Honor Flights I've participated in. You can tell what's going on in most of the photos, but do let me know if you have any questions. :)

Honor Flight 2010

Merinda came to DC!!

2010-10-17T15:24:00.003-05:00

Quite remiss in reporting on Merinda's visit to DC last month!!! Had a blast.... gorgeous weekend. We went to the H Street Festival, Virginia Wine Festival, Annapolis, MD, met Third Day (and stayed for their concert, too), Restoration Arlington....and caught up on life amidst meals at McDonald's and Talulla...and places in between. SO great to see you after soooo long!

Odd little devil at the Wine Festival...

I can't take credit for any of the cool Wine Fest photos that follow...

The music was just too good.....

Onward to Annapolis, Marlyand where we went shopping, had crab cakes, and visited the Naval Academy. Note: good to visit on not-the-weekend.... you can actually get inside the chapel!

Extremely beautiful chapel. Gorgeous stained glass all over the place...

...aaand that's the extent of the photos from the weekend. Sadly didn't take my camera everywhere we went..... Come back and visit, Merinda!! :)

NYC!

2010-10-02T13:39:00.007-05:00

It's true: I'd never been to New York City until this Labor Day weekend. Oh my goodness. It was infinitely cooler than I ever thought it could be! I went with some spiffy people who knew the city well. Here are some of my favorite photos from the trip.

Arrived by bus late Friday night. Goal: get a photo with some good-looking NYPD Blues.....

Well-informed citizen spouting angry opinion for a news camera...

There's a lot going on here...

We went kayaking for free on the Hudson River! Magnificent. We were a little shocked when the water (that was all over us because it was super windy) tasted salty. "Huh! I was expecting....chemicals!"

Because this is a totally normal thing to see.

Really? Designer mice? If only I ruled the world.... things like pro sports and designer catnip would be eradicated.

Spices

Oh Francisco, help me with my problems.....

Dutch Kills - really cool speakeasy in Queens. I'll have a Marie Antoinette.... or the best Caipirinha I've had in the states....

A RAT!!!! IN THE SUBWAY!! Visions of Adventures in Babysitting....

Turtle Island (?) in Central Park, where we sat like lizards

Sweet, sweet family sang beautiful songs and sounded like the Von Trap family. Who is this guy with no shirt on? Really!

Continuing with The Sound of Music theme, a group of sisters came to listen, as Andrew looks on...

TCFS (too cool for school) Statue of Liberty

Regal cathedral in the midst of the chaos of the city...

Brazilian Festival! Largest in the world (outside of Brazil, of course).

I was able to use the one thing I know how to say in Portuguese with this guy: "I speak a little Portuguese."

Check out the tats on this dude.

Right you are, sir. Right you are.

Victory!!

Capoiera!

Check out the bewildered guard inside the Ann Taylor store

All tuckered out. GREAT trip. Who's ready for another one???

Day of Solitude

2010-10-02T12:29:00.003-05:00

One of the many perks of working at IJM is that in addition to a generous number of vacation days staff may take one Day of Solitude. Splendid. I went to the Leesylvania State Park, former home of the Lee family... as in Light Horse Harry and Robert E. Went on a little hike, had a picnic, got eaten alive 97 times (no lie) by chiggers or flies or something.... and most importantly had good one on one time with God. Here are some photos from the day.....

This is at the top of a hill overlooking the Potomac. A canon was once here during the Civil War.

This is what remains of one of the old Lee homes

Erosion.

What more do you need: sweet tea, the good book, a spiffy leather journal, and a camera....

I walked along this shoreline for quite awhile... so nice.

I later moved on to Po Hick State Park, just because I liked the name. Sat and watched fishing boats go by....

Kayaks for rent! Note to self. Po Hick.

I like oak trees... reminds me of home.

The End.

Costa Rica - Pura Vida

2010-08-28T10:50:00.008-05:00

And now, it's time for the unveiling of Funny Quotes by Amy and Emily: the Costa Rica Edition.

Amy and I took a fantabulous trip to Costa Rica where we made a point of not being connected to technology (other than Amy's incessantly wanting to know what time it was...because she lost her watch while surfing....and okay, I like to know what time it is, too - so we took turns wearing my watch and asking each other what time is was...). Here are a few excerpts from my journal:

....Sitting in the airport, making comparisons, per usual. Same backpack, in a capital city, on the verge of a new awakening - I can feel it. I crave the unknown. But I still like to have some semblance of control... as in I chose to go to Costa Rica, I packed my bags with my stuff, I, I, I, and somehow that sort of "unknowing" is preferred to the unknowns of career, future, relationships, etc? Weird. .....

On the road from Liberia to Tamarindo..... we shared a Cliff bar...(rationing for the week ahead in case we had to survive solely on meal bars), then Amy burst out the Sour Patch Kids and I devored approximately 20 after Successful Week One of abstaining from sugar. Crazy headache ensued for the next 12 hours.

Inside Jokes Amy and I Find Hilarious But Will Make Little Sense to the Rest of You:

A: "That's a chocolate lab. I mean a vanilla lab. I mean...."

E: "I'm thinking drunk driving would be best in terms of overall health." (on the decision of whether or not to drive from the B&B into town for our "night out" in Tamarindo, thus avoiding a potentially shady walk home)

That's what she said jokes...

E: "I kind of remember going down a gravel road." (Got massively lost on day 3 of driving the rental)

A: "Oh, did you?!" (aka the Human Compass)

POTHOLE!!! (they're everywhere).

"Ooh! Look! Is that a rice paddy??..... or just a flooded pasture?"

"What is it with all these animals?!?"

...And here I sit on the front porch of our little cabin (in Buena Vista). We are seriously IN the clouds. I wish a picture would capture it, but this is one of those moments where a photograph would ruin it. It is SO peaceful... I can't hear anyone else. Massages at 3pm and 4pm from Anna Rosa, the blind woman down the lane. I'm drinking my cup of freshly brewed Costa Rican coffee in a Rey Cafe square mug, sitting on my cheap Imperial beach towel because the back of my legs are seriously purple from the sun and surfing....

E: "No really, I think it's clearing up."

A: "Whatever."

E: "No, I see things I didn't see before."

(loud clap of thunder)

A: (look that says, "you are a complete idiot."

"Look! It's a volcano!!.... oh wait, it's a house up close."

"Look! It's a volcano!!...oh wait, it's a factory."

E: "Oh, I'm glad I'm from Texas and have been able to do things like ride horses without having to wear a bright blue helmet and look like a dummy."

A: "I'm going to my office."

....Breakfast: rice, beans, pineapple (best ever!), watermelon, coffee.....meal bar. Went on the super long, super fun waterslide four times with the help of Carlos "call me Tarzan." This place is incredible....

Then went on the aerial tour by ourselves. Sixteen hanging bridges high over the canopy. At the end of the trail, the lady asked what wildlife we'd seen.

E: "Wildlife? We were supposed to see wildlife?"

Lady: "Are you telling me you didn't see ANY monkey or birds?"

E: "Ummm.... I guess we should have kept all the screaming and the "OH MY GOSH WE'RE GOING TO DIE" to a minimum..."

A: "Ok well, we're not getting on the internet. That was the whole purpose of this trip. To disconnect from electricity."

....Later that day, we went on a tractor ride (yes, a tractor) down to the hot springs. Magnificent. Sat in the sauna for a miserable 5 minutes, put on volcanic mud, showered off, then skipped through 5 pools with varying temperatures of hot. Lots of people toward the end. Met some from Atlanta and Northern Virginia. The rest, we determined, were snobby Germans.....

A: "What is it with all these iguanas?" (said when encountering any reptile)

....Massive flock of every kind of bird known to man passed over the cabin in the middle of the night. It was dreadful. Also, woke up in a panic about the BBQ, work, babysitting Mary-Kate Olsen (what?!), and other dramatic things....

....CANOPY TOUR!! So fun. I went first and it was grand. Went on ten different ziplines, 1.5 of them flying upside down! Our guides made it even more fun....

...Today we drove back to Liberia, had lunch (ceviche), went to the grocery store like a couple of locals, then headed for a pleace where they recommended a 4x4 for very obvious reasons. The silver bullet prevailed, as did our nerves, and we arrived at La Carolina Lodge. TOTALLY off the beaten path. Met Jacqueline, Alejandro, and Yerlynn, wandered around the grounds, stable, spring-fed hot tub, massive porches, and HAMMOCKS where we spent most of the afternoon....

Later that night, we made a list of things we are good at that would somehow give us the ability to live in Costa Rica and be awesome 1/2 the year. Results were inconclusive.

A: "Don't feel bad there's nothing you could do...... Or you could do......."

E: "Or what? I could do administrative work?!?!"

A: "Or you could do expeditions, I was going to say."

A: "Are we there yet?!"

E: (in regards to the British couple) "They look so timid. I kind of want to go up to them and say, 'BOO!'"

IT'S STILL IN FIRST GEAR!!!!

E: "Oh look! There's one other car. That means he's mine." (I have no clue what this one means - Amy?)

....Remember when Emily said to pay at Buena Vista with cash, thus eliminating the cash supply for La Carolina, so we had to drive like a bat out of hell to Bijuanges or something to go to the bank? Then we found the bank next to the police station and the ATM came back with the blue screen of death and said "383," so Emily goes to tell the now 6 policemen gathered, waving her hands and saying, "no vale." Then one of them followed us in, saw the blue screen, and said, "your PIN." Oh. ......

A: "Callete! Estupido!"

A: "What is it with all these burned cows?"

A: (whenever we saw calves) "Heifers!!"

It was an amazing adventure, and I highly recommend a trip to northwest Costa Rica. Go here to see my spiffy photos. Go here to see Amy's!

The End.

KIVA

2010-08-23T19:19:00.003-05:00

kiva.org is really cool. The basic premise is to connect people through lending to help alleviate poverty in the developing world. I loaned $25 each to 4 different people two years ago. Since then, all four people have paid back their loans, and I've been able to donate to 7 more people. I was skeptical at first, but it really is one of the coolest things out there.

From the kiva website:

Kiva's mission is to connect people, through lending, for the sake of alleviating poverty.

Kiva empowers individuals to lend to an entrepreneur across the globe. By combining microfinance with the internet, Kiva is creating a global community of people connected through lending.

Pendo Luisi, 27 years old, borrowed $175 to open a cafe in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.

Kiva was born of the following beliefs:

People are by nature generous, and will help others if given the opportunity to do so in a transparent, accountable way.

The poor are highly motivated and can be very successful when given an opportunity.

By connecting people we can create relationships beyond financial transactions, and build a global community expressing support and encouragement of one another.

Kiva promotes:

Dignity: Kiva encourages partnership relationships as opposed to benefactor relationships. Partnership relationships are characterized by mutual dignity and respect.

Accountability: Loans encourage more accountability than donations where repayment is not expected.

Transparency: The Kiva website is an open platform where communication can flow freely around the world.

As of November 2009, Kiva has facilitated over $100 million in loans.

Hypocrisy

2010-08-22T14:10:00.003-05:00

For all my talk of "great big canvas" and "Life is a great big canvas, and you should throw all the paint you can on it," I have had a blank 16" x 16" canvas hanging over my bed for MONTHS. And that was after I finally got it out of the the closet.

Well, that's all changing, as I now have an easel and paints and brushes and.... yeah, it's going to be great.

More to come... stay tuned....

Daily Dose of Controversy

2010-08-21T10:12:00.002-05:00

Read Lewis W. Napper's Bill of No Rights. Just a reminder that there are differences between rights and privileges...

Small Victory

2010-08-14T10:39:00.005-05:00

I just boiled an egg. No joke. You might not think this is noteworthy at all, but trust me. This is in the monumental category. I've been terrified of eggs for quite some time. This is closely tied with my fear of birds. Ornithophobia. It's real: look it up. I'm not the only one....

Every time I crack open an egg, I fear there will be a baby chicken in there, plopping into my cookie dough, scrambled eggs bowl, what have you. Seriously.

While I have yet to determine THE event from which this fear stems, I have no interest in going to a therapist to deal with it....mostly because I'm terrified they're going to make me hold a bird. Here are a couple of reasons why I so do not care for them. This is probably TMI, so just stop reading if it is.

I was always "that kid" that birds pooped on when flying over my head.
Watching chicks hatch on Sesame Street was one of the most mortifying experiences I remember.
I used to think God would punish me for my sins by turning my mattress into a million birds, all squished together, and alive.
We'd go to feed the birds at Independence Park, and those creepy ducks with the huge nose/beak things would breathe heavily and chase us and FREAK ME OUT.
One Come & Take It weekend, we had a lot of guests staying over, and moved the parakeets (Ariel & King Triton) onto the back staircase. We forgot about them, and they froze to death.
When the family would poke fun of my fear, Mom would quote the Matthew 3:16, saying, "The Spirit of God, descending as a dove, settling on Jesus...." BUT NO. The Bible says LIKE a dove, not AS a dove. Big difference.
Petrie (sp?), Mom and Trey's pet cockatiel KNEW I hated it, and would fly up to my room and poop on my pillow.
We were always late for school when Mom had to take us to St. Ludmila Elementary, but were especially late the morning Petrie died and Mom sat holding the dead bird and crying. I felt like an idiot handing in the excuse note to the teacher.
Didn't have enough time to bury the bird in one of our many pet cemeteries, so it was placed in a shoebox and stuck in the freezer for a couple of days. Holy cow.
Pirate (Petrie's sickly replacement) was scary looking and wheezed a lot in his short 2-ish weeks with us before keeling over.
I can't handle dove hunting and keeping the birds, still warm, in my vest pocket. Just can't do it.

So there. I have my reasons. Eating eggs is a big accomplishment. Gold star for me today.....

Texas, I love thee. Let me count the ways.

2010-08-07T17:53:00.002-05:00

This is a forward Mom sent me.... just a few reasons why Texas will always win The Best State award....

Pep , Texas 79353
Smiley , Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort , Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the sun?
Sun City , Texas 78628
Sunrise , Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side, Texas 77423

Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789
Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
Pearland, Texas 77581
Orange, Texas 77630
And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556

Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Cleveland, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Klondike, Texas 75448
Pittsburg , Texas 75686
Newark , Texas 76071
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony, Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462
Pasadena, Texas 77506
Columbus, Texas 78934

Feel like traveling outside the country?
Athens , Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China , Texas 77613
Dublin , Texas 76446
Egypt, Texas 77436
Ireland, Texas 76538
Italy, Texas 76538
Turkey, Texas 79261
London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460
Palestine, Texas 75801

No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031

We have a city named after our state:
Texas City, Texas 77590

Exhausted?
Energy, Texas 76452

Cold?
Blanket, Texas 76432
Winters, Texas 79567

Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas 76878
Goliad, Texas 77963
Alamo, Texas 78516
Gun Barrel City, Texas 75156
Robert Lee, Texas 76945

Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670

Want to go into outer space?
Venus, Texas 76084
Mars, Texas 79062

You guessed it. It's on the state line.
Texline, Texas 79087

For the kids...
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas, to make you smile......
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box, Texas 77853
Old Dime Box, Texas 77853
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079

The Anti-Al Gore City
Kilgore, Texas 75662

And our favorites...
Cut and Shoot, Texas 77303
Gun Barrel City, Texas 75147
Ding Dong, Texas
West, Texas (it’s in Central Texas )
and, of course,
Muleshoe, Texas 79347

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work there, you may live in Texas;
If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in Texas;
If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Texas;
If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you may live in Texas;
If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;
If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Texas;
If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both unlocked, you may live in Texas;
If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Texas;
If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas;
If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas;
If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas.

Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas.
1... Beaumont to El Paso : 742 miles
2... Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles
3... El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas
4… World's first rodeo was in Pecos, July 4, 1883.
5… The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America built over water. Destroyed by Hurricane Ike -2008!
6… The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston .
7... Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in North America
8... Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America's only remaining flock of whooping cranes.
9… Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.
10… The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900, caused by a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island.
11… The first word spoken from the moon, July 20,1969, was "Houston," but the space center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.
12... King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island ..
13... Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43' in 24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979...
14... Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union) instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.
15... A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.
16… Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.
17... Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper..
18… Texas has had six capital cities: Washington-on-the-Brazos, Harrisburg, Galveston, Velasco, West Columbia
and Austin ..
19... The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).
20. The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in the world and it is taller than the Washington monument.
21. The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas' meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas .
22. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg, which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.).
23. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston.

Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in Fairlie, Texas :

(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.

Y'all git all that?

New photo website!

2010-08-07T15:57:00.003-05:00

So here's the deal. Uploading photographs takes quite some time. Time I could spend making incredibly useful commentary on the world. Thus, I have started a new photo website! Drumroll, please.......

eppright.photoshelter.com

Bookmark it. Great things are ahead. Nothing's there now, though.

Check out my photo albums. Buy my photos. I'm going to be filthy rich.

This blog site (http://mygreatbigcanvas.blogspot.com) will be reserved for aforementioned world commentary and only those photos that demand explanations.

Status

2010-07-27T21:57:00.001-05:00

I am indeed still alive. Life the past month has been Kah-raze-E. Forgive me. Also, I'm contemplating switching over to a mac site, as it is FAR easier than manually uploading every goldern photo.

Stay tuned..... and have a swell day.

Sneak peek at 4th of July festivities

2010-07-07T21:01:00.003-05:00

Here is a link to my pal Keith's INCREDIBLE photos of our kayaking excursion in the Potomac! We watched the (most amazing ever) fireworks while sitting in kayaks super close to the Lincoln Memorial. Patriotism at its finest :).

Happy Fourth of July weekend!!

2010-07-03T14:30:00.001-05:00

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom; justice; honor; duty; mercy; hope."

~Winston Churchill

Shenandoah Hike

2010-07-03T14:07:00.003-05:00

Last weekend, Sherpa Tim (of Great Falls hike fame) and I headed out to Shenandoah National Park super early for a hike! It was seriously the best weather for hiking. Breezy, sunny, but cool under the shade of the trees. Downhill the first couple of miles, we arrived at the what's-supposed-to-be-a-waterfall-but-is-now-a-water-fountain. The views were still SO nice, so we stopped for a brunch/lunch and watched the swarms of people who stopped at the lookout. Boy scouts, moody teenage daughters, rugged dads with tiny kids trying to rappel down the cliff. Here are a few photos from the trip!

Used my telephoto lens (love it! Need to practice with it!) to zoom in on a buzzard perched far away. Telephoto. It's like binocular lite.

This is a big rock.

The view down from where we were perched

It was pretty hazy on the ride back, but here's a fun pic from a lookout point

I like the tree.

Blue sky? Check. Fun white clouds? Check. Green trees? Check.

Great hike. Stopped at a mexican food restaurant in Front Royal (that I can't tell you about because then it will become famous for having the most legit mexican food I've had in the area and then the prices will go up and the high falutin' city folk will come in. All I will say is there is a great mexican food restaurant in Front Royal). We watched the first half of the USA vs. Ghana soccer game (in Spanish. It was awesome) and then headed back into the frenzied DC metro area.

Lovely poem

2010-07-03T11:31:00.001-05:00

You know when you hear a lovely quote that just grips you? I did, and just found out (thanks Mom) that it's the last two lines of an even lovelier poem. Read on.

The Summer Day

~Mary Oliver

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper?
This grasshopper, I mean-
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-
who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don't know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what I have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?

Text "Freedom" to 20222!! Do it.

2010-06-28T20:02:00.001-05:00

This summer, 15 ordinary people will give up 5 weeks of their lives, cycling 1800 miles of the Underground Railroad with one extraordinary goal: To bring hope to the millions of people waiting for freedom.

The team will ride from June 28 to July 30, inviting people to join the fight for freedom online and at events along their route — from churches to concerts to Major League Baseball games. Their journey concludes on July 30 in Buffalo, NY, when we'll invite 1 million people to join IJM's second annual Weekend to End Slavery.

Whether you have a few minutes or a few hours, there is something YOU can do to help us:

Help us reach our campaign goal to raise $1 million: If just 100,000 people text FREEDOM to 20222 to give $10 to IJM’s work, we’ll hit our goal. We believe that if people are aware of what we’re doing, they’ll be willing to part with $10. Please spread the word or direct them to other giving options.

Join/promote our events: If you have contacts in our event cities, I’d love to share our promotional materials with you so they can help us get the word out. Just reply back and let me know.

Follow the tour: Visit our live tracking page and keep up with the riders via daily instant access updates.

Help us spread the word about 5 Weeks for Freedom with online tools.

Learn about other great ways to help by visiting our Get Involved page

This summer's journey on the Underground Railroad reminds us that slavery was defeated once, simply because ordinary people did what they could to join the fight. And it inspires us to believe that, together, we can defeat it again. I hope I can count on your support! www.5WeeksforFreedom.org

OOOOOKKKLAHOMA, OK!

2010-06-25T18:23:00.003-05:00

I ventured to Oklahoma City, Oklahoma last weekend to visit my dearest Great Aunt Rosalyce. My paternal grandmother (Mimi)'s sister, she is quite possibly the most adventurous, most interesting person in my family. LOVE her. We have been pen pals since I was 8, and I sadly haven't seen her in about 15 years. I realized I'd never see her again if I didn't take initiative and just GO for crying out loud....and so we settled on the weekend of June 19 .

It was a spectacular weekend. Aunt Rosalyce was incredibly hospitable and just as fantastic as I remembered. I stayed in one of the extra apartments at the Statesman Club, a retirement community in NW OK City. They just had a ton of building damage from the tornadoes that have recently ravaged the area, but were quickly fixing windows, replacing carpet, etc.

Spent the afternoon sitting and talking. The slower pace was quite good for my hurried, frenzied soul. Aunt Rosalyce was in the Women's Army Corps during World War II, and served in New York and New Guinea (more on this later). After she met her (dashing, hilarious, equally adventurous) husband Tom, she spent her career teaching DOD kids overseas: in Japan, The Philippines, and Germany. How COOL is that?! She's convinced I got my travel bug straight from her :).

Our birthdays are very close (mine is June 14, hers is June 18), and this is the first time we've ever celebrated our birthdays together.... she took me to a Mexican restaurant (can't remember the name) along with her friend Susan (incredible woman who looks out for Aunt Rosalyce).

Here we are at the restaurant:

Sunset after dinner - there's a man-made lake the restaurant is near. OH HOW I MISS PRETTY SUNSETS!!!

A lighthouse! In Oklahoma! Reminds me of that George Strait song, "I've got some ocean front property in Arizona...From my front porch you can see the sea....If you'll buy that I'll throw the Golden Gate in free...."

Sunday: we spent the entire day visiting and catching up. She saved shoeboxes full of letters from friends (and her favorite....only...niece...me), photos from childhood to present, and COOLEST OF ALL: letters she wrote her family in 1944 when she had just arrived in New Guinea! How amazing is that!?! She explained to me that what she did was largely administrative work, and that it freed up the men to be able to fight in the South Pacific instead of sit behind a desk. She mentioned that the girls were told that they had to follow tradition: the outgoing men needed to get a kiss from the incoming secretaries, so they'd be sent off to war, motivated to fight for their country. She said this was definitely not a tradition, but that she and the other girls were good sports about it, and gladly obliged.

There were stories of old beaus, the trick to getting good food in the South Pacific (dates with the Navy boys), photos of her and 20+ soldiers who saw her walking on campus at Oklahoma State (back then it was Oklahoma A&M). Photos of a guru she and Tom associated with, photos of the guru with the Beatles, and photos of the 300+ children she taught over the course of her career.

Stories of my great-great-grandfather Heidbreder who immigrated from Germany. His father would let him come to America only if he promised to bring a certain trunkful of books with him. He sailed around the world a couple times before settling in Oklahoma. Not long after his arrival, World War I broke out, his home was ransacked, and all his books were burned (so as to not spread German sentiment).
Takeaways:
1) What a cool story! My ancestors were pretty spiffy.
2) my people have been oppressed and I've got my rights* (I have more stories on the wrongful oppression of my peeps, but that's for another day);
3) I love stories like this: bad turning into good. Though G-G-Grandfather Heidbreder had next to nothing, he had a family... and if he had resigned himself to the fact that life is hard and there's no point in trying, he never would have attracted a (wonderfully energetic) wife, they would have never had my Great Grandfather, who would have never married Great Grandmother Mary Doze, who in turn would have never had my grandmother Margaret Christine, who would have never had my dad... you get the idea. Survival of the fittest, in this case, if you will.

Stepped out for a bit to see dear friend Lindsey Leissner Johnson, who lives in OKCity with hubbie Kyle. SO great to see her and catch up. She is an awesome Christian example, and I thoroughly enjoyed the time with her.

Sunday night, I picked up Macaroni Grill for dinner. After finishing dinner, we sat outside on the patio and watched the sun set. We sat out there for about two hours, reading letters, sharing stories, and eating Blue Bell Strawberries and Vanilla ice cream. I got completely eaten up my massive Oklahoma mosquitos, but it was SO worth it. What a lovely way to end the trip. Check out these sunset pictures:

Here is my elegant, beautiful aunt:

Got up bright and early the next morning and joined Aunt Rosalyce for coffee before she was off to a dr's appointment and I was off for a super quick tour of the town. By an act of providence, I wound up in Stockyards City. Adventure follows.

Downtown is on the horizon. That's where I was headed before I got distracted by a great country song (there were at least 17 country radio stations!! There's only one here)....

Thar she is:

I'm obsessed with this edge of OKCity.

I thought about seeing if they had any job openings here just so I could stay.....

No, I didn't venture in the gates.....

And then.....LEGIT MEXICAN FOOD!!!! I went in for a bacon, egg and cheese breakfast taco, and iced tea in a styrofoam cup. I was not disappointed. It was SO good. Both the taco and the tea portions were enormous, and the whole thing cost $3. It was then that I realized that a) I love food and b) I especially love Sonic, Chik-fil-A (yeah, yeah, don't judge) and Mexican food. DC/VA is severely lacking in all three categories. It was then that I had no real reason to justify staying in VA.

But I pulled myself together, and drove in my rental Hyundai Accent to the airport. Along the way, I was again enamored by the massive sky.

Interesting cloud formation behind the flags....

Will Rogers World Airport... and there he is!

What a weekend. What a heart of gold Aunt Rosalyce has. So blessed to a) escape DC for the weekend and b) to spend such quality time with such an amazing person.

Philly Part III

2010-06-24T21:03:00.004-05:00

Part III. Our time has come to a close. Here's part III of III:

Happened upon the World Cup block party!! England vs. USA! Ridiculously fitting after a day centering on liberty, fighting the Brits, and revolutionary ideas:

"USA! USA!! USA!!" ~the crazed patriots

Thugs Guy, Nate, and Alex....

These guys had their own TV out on the street... smoke was from a massive grilling party. Very awesome.

Annnnnd we tied with England... which I hear is a great thing during the first round. Apparently the rules of soccer (football) are much more complicated than I originally thought back in 6th grade when I had to play soccer every day for "off season" because I didn't want to play basketball and get pummeled by the mean bullies in junior high (that and I was a pansy and didn't like to fail at things I was grossly uncoordinated in). The end.

Cool old building.

Jumping photo #1....

Jumping photo #2....

Philadelphia skyline... this is right before we left for DC.

Austin being creepy

So Rocky is a big deal in Philly. I should see this (don't judge, I haven't seen any of them... and also got the Rocky movies confused with Rambo...uhmm...)

GREAT weekend! Great new friends. Had a Philly cheesesteak ordered "wiz with" (cheezwhiz and onions).... (sorry Texadelphia, your cheesesteaks are dead to me), water ice (snow cone), and other food here and there.... most fun was laughing with my peeps. Good times.

Philly Part II

2010-06-24T18:44:00.005-05:00

Where the Constitution was signed, yes?

Standing in line to see the Liberty Bell

Say, "FREEDOM!"

This is cool.

The human liberty bell!

Little Big Chief!

Hey, what's up, MLK, Jr and Rev. Wright?

The Dalai Lama

Nelson Mandela....world power.

Annnnnd there's us!

Discussing important matters...

Thar she is....

Welcome to Philadelphia. God bless America.

The oldest street in America!

I don't know. I like taking pictures of sewer plates.

Philly Trip Part I

2010-06-24T18:30:00.004-05:00

Two weekends ago, I went to Philly with 10 friends from IJM and thereabouts... and it was fabulous. Sad how seldom I venture out of the state.. even though it doesn't require driving for 12 hours just to cross the state line. Andrew is from Philly and was a grand tour guide for our whirlwind (24 hour) trip. Here are some of my favorite photos:

City Hall... with wee little William Penn at the top:

Caught Guy conducting his own private orchestra...

Annnnd the first thing that comes to my mind?? Monopoly!

It was at this time that I realized I take photos that you find on Sesame Street. The "what is this a part of?" sort of thing.....

This is magical. LOVE it.

Fabulous fire escape stairs...

Made me wonder... was this seen as shameless advertising back in the day? "Would you believe that clothing store over there? They took out a window and put an advertisement up." (For the record, I think it's nifty).

Hard Rock Cafe across the street from our hotel

COFFEE!!! NEED COFFEE!!

Lychee. One of the highlights from my time in Mexico.

Artsy statue

Artsy statue in detail

Action shot of Andrew and Guy... crazies...

...to be continued....

Carrie's Fiesta

2010-06-24T18:22:00.006-05:00

...annnnd I'm back. Had a blast at Carrie's Spanish Fiesta a couple of weekends ago. She made some DE-licious paella and gazpacho and sangria and key lime pie and.... it was good.

Legit paella

Gazpacho. Yum.
.

Sangria. The staple of Summer 2010.

"Haven't you already had enough CITRUS??"

Lovely friends.

Cerveza. That's beer en espanol.

I spy... key lime pie. SO good.

Hostess with the mostest!

Summer 2010 is going down in the history books. Mark my words.

Embassy Week 2010!

2010-06-05T20:45:00.004-05:00

Portugal - my new favorite place! Went to the Portuguese Embassy and met the Ambassador... we talked - one on one - about good port wine (from Portugal - duh) and discussed photography with the Vice Consul. I was officially on cloud nine.

Someone renowned...

The Ambassador

Cute tourist couple with sweaters tied around their necks

Chandeliers are my new favorite.

Ze flag.

Someone else famous

Artist from Portugal...

Castle I will one day visit

Fascinating. I must go to this country.

Gold Cup 2010

2010-06-05T20:34:00.003-05:00

Forgive me - I have 8 events I'm quite behind in posting. These will likely consist mostly of photos. They're pretty self-explanatory anyway.

First up: The Virginia Gold Cup 2010. It's a steeplechase! I posted some... oh wait no I didn't. So, it was grand. I had so many memories of The Saddle Club... Carole, Stephanie and.... another girl...Lisa? I can't remember. Wait what?!? It was made into a mini-series?? I'm pretty sure I read every book in the entire series. I wanted to be like Stephanie, minus the whole troubled home bit. Those girls were my heroes. Good times.

The track/course

Perfectly gorgeous day

Matching???

Classiest tailgating I've ever seen.

Lauren and me being awesome

This is technically a tailgate, people. Silver bucket for ice, silver cups for mint juleps, silver horse head....who are these people!??

Oh yeah.

New tradition. Done.

Are you ready to cry?

2010-06-03T18:01:00.001-05:00

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Please watch this. You'll probably need a Kleenex or two. It's military personnel returning and surprising their families. Be still my heart.

Memorial Day Eve 2010

2010-05-30T18:57:00.005-05:00

This day has been pretty awesome. I'm dancing to Ryan Bingham in the kitchen as I wait for my ground beef to brown. Let me back up.

Slept late (for me). Woke up around 8:30am, sat in bed, drinking coffee and watching some Pride and Prejudice, the BBC version.
Put on a summery outfit with my new wedge espadrilles and headed to church. Thought I'd swing by the Rolling Thunder lineup, just to get a look-see. The Pentagon parking lot was swarming with hundreds of thousands of motorcycles and American flags. What's more, when driving past Arlington Cemetery, I forgot that the National Guardsmen place an American flag next to every gravestone. It was too much. I immediately drove back home and changed into something more comfortable.
Parked illegally between the Iwo Jima memorial and the cemetery, and walked. Happened upon an intimate ceremony at the 101st Airborne memorial, and again teared up when the WWII and Vietnam vets were honored, as well as the injured soldiers who are currently at Walter Reed (and are being treated there, but were able to come to this ceremony). I tell you what, there is nothing as honorable as serving your country. Gets me every time.
Made my way to the very edge of the Memorial Bridge - blast - it was fenced off. Stood at the edge and met some Vietnam vets who were very friendly and very tough-looking. It was spectacular. I stood there and waved and took pictures and conversated for nearly an hour, then decided to go home. The vets I met said that they rode last year, but didn't want to "melt the engines" this year. They said that to go 5 miles, they have to keep their hogs running at least 3 hours. Great blend of people: both people I would be terrified to encounter in a dark alley, and all-American patriots. Hippies who have outgrown their hippie gear, and accountants-by-day, Harley riders by night. I love America.
Home to get some grub, and made cojita cheese quesadillas (delish) before being enticed to go to the neighborhood pool (1 of 6!!) with Miss Richmond. Spend a good 2 hours there. Adequate sun, adequate sunblock, adequate dose of cynicism with the latest edition of World magazine.
Drove with Miss Richmond and friend Voix La to 7/11 for a slurpee. Flavors: Pina Colada and Coke. Awesome.
Finalized room rearrangements, sipped on a glass of sangria, organized photos and card stock, researched good quotes to use with aforementioned photos and card stock. If you're lucky, you might get one of 'em!
And here I stand, in the kitchen, reading a recipe for taco casserole on the laptop, and being serenaded by Ryan Bingham, my new favorite country artist. He's from Austin. Check him out.

Life is so good.

Things I learned today.

2010-05-24T18:12:00.004-05:00

The census workers get paid $20/hour. How's that for lowering the unemployment in America?! I was interviewed by one such worker this evening, despite the fact that we already sent in the census thing for the household. I guess it's better/more accurate if you have two counters: one that goes door-to-door, one that stays in the office. Multiplied by... a million or so workers. I'm honestly too tired after the grueling interview to look up any facts.

I asked the guy (I really wanted to ask HIM 15 questions) how many interviews he's done so far, since the "beginning," and he said, "oh....well.... at LEAST a... hundred!" Not sure how long these peeps get paid to conduct these interviews, but I'm guessing there are a LOT of them sprinkled throughout these United States.

The guy was really sweet-looking. He was so eager to do the job well, and I could tell his new backpack and clean clothes were worn with much pride. He was really trying hard to get all the info right, and I can only image he's encountered some real mean people out there. He misspelled my name, and wrote down my roommate's year of birth as 1932 instead of 1983, but whatev.

Also, Rush Limbaugh didn't register to vote until he was 35.

Leaving the metro today...

2010-05-18T21:24:00.003-05:00

..... a guy in uniform gets on the metro, and sits on the other side of the doors from me. A group of people got on at the next stop, and were loudly speaking in a foreign language. Russian? Armenian? Bulgarian? I couldn't tell. There were snorts and chortles, and it didn't seem like they were singing America's praises. I stood up to get off the metro, as did this group of unknowns, and so did Sgt. Uniform. He had some tactful yet terse words he said to one of the (very tough) ladies in the group - in their language - and the guys stood there dumbfounded, the girl said something back to the Sgt., and saluted him in a very patronizing way. The Sgt. smiled and sat back down.

No clue what was said, but I could definitely feel the tension.

Enter Emily, Private Eye.

I followed these characters rather closely, pretending like I could understand what they were saying to each other. A careful blink of the eye here, a silent laugh there, a raised eyebrow now and then. Ever so subtly, very discrete. This continued for a minute, then I realized, Zoinks! What if they think I really CAN understand them and they're in the Russian mob (highly likely), and they kill me??! Then thankfully they went the other way when we got to the top of the escalators.

No, I haven't been watching too much 24.....

Confession

2010-05-18T21:20:00.002-05:00

It's official. I joined Linked In today. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to. No, really. I needed an answer from this discussion group for work. I'm not proud of it. Especially after I determined I would not delve further into the technological world than a) facebook and b) DVDs (curse you, BlueRay - I'll have none of you). Yeah, yeah, I have a droid, but that's different...sort of. A walking contradiction, New York calls me. Whatever. Just wanted to confess this grave sin to you, my loyal listening audience.

Welcome, 21st century, to my life. It's about time I embrace the gadgets and gizmos of my generation.

Glycemic Index Diet....

2010-05-15T12:25:00.002-05:00

...cuz every body needs it.

Or something to that effect. So I bought a book entitled, The GI Bikini Diet on a whim. It was on sale for $4.95. Besides the countless typos and grammatical errors (which made me lose all respect for this supposed doctor), it appears to be written by Scots, so in addition to spelling every other word "wrong," they measure using grams. Unhelpful for recipes. And no, I don't have time to recalculate all the measurements. I a) am an American, and thus shouldn't have to do this, and b) don't bother following recipes written using T and tsp. and c. and the like.

SO the book shall be returned.

In the meantime, I've researched into this whole glycemic index (GI) phenomenon, and it makes sense. It's a healthy version of Adkins. And they still let you have wine (red is best - hooray!).

I discovered, however, that my beloved corn tortillas of which I've been feasting for the past 2 weeks are super high on the GI chart. I am distraught. Dagnabbit.

Quotes for this day

2010-05-14T06:46:00.002-05:00

It is often said that children are the wealth of the poor. This was not my experience. But books are without question the wealth of the poor’s children. Books are a guiding light out of the underworld, a secret passageway, an escape hatch. To the affluent, books are ornaments. To the poor, books are siege weapons.” — Joe Queenan

I have held many things in my hand and I have lost them all. But whatever I have placed in God’s hands, that I still possess.”
— Martin Luther

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.”
— Helen Keller

"When you stop taking chances
You'll stay where you sit
You won't live any longer
But it'll feel like it"
- Bono, "Summer Rain"

And with these thoughts in mind, GO FORTH AND CONQUER. Happy Friday!

Zumba

2010-05-10T20:15:00.004-05:00

After a particularly treacherous Zumba class tonight, I lay comatose on my bed, with just enough energy to watch 24.

I venture to say that Sarah the Substitute was far tougher than Diego the Man Who Can Move. And I swear she was snickering at me when I couldn't keep up with her insane beat.

For your viewing pleasure, here is a cheesy infomercial in espanol for zumba. This is pretty much what it looks like, except there are about 8 people at the gym, we are all wearing baggy gym clothes (except that tramp in the corner, who does she think she is) and sweating profusely. Our audience consists of old men between raquetball games, gawking as they pass by on their way to the water fountain. Oh, and there was one guy in the class today. He was cracking up more than even I was. And that's a lot.

I can't "shake it" like the instructor yells, and so effortlessly illustrates, but by golly I'm having fun. This is WAY better than running.

And now I can barely move. Thus, I'm watching Jack singlehandedly bring down terrorists, maintain his love life, interrogate traitors, and keep an open line with the POTUS. He's that good.

the posting of a friend.

2010-05-09T21:01:00.002-05:00

Jamesy. A dear friend from the ATX. A talented musician with a great take on life and an insightful blog. Here is his latest posting. Poignant.

It's a quick read, and very worth it.

Love ya, James.

I have a grille.

2010-05-09T20:39:00.004-05:00

Is is grill or grille? I never know.

In a burst of domesticity, I decided to cook tonight. Carrots and hummus and cheese quesadillas eaten while standing over the stove is getting a bit old (this has seriously been my dinner when eating at home the past 2 weeks or so).

AND SO, Richmond* showed me how to operate the awesome grill in our backyard. Yeah, the one I've never used after having lived here for nearly 10 months.

AND SO I grilled some corn (first time ever!) and chicken breast tenders (tequila lime. I had no idea what I was doing, but I sprinkled some Jose Cuervo and squeezed a lime over it. It worked.), and made red beans and rice.

And Richmond fixed the broken light outside, so now we can see. Life is good in the VA. Also, I need to have a party.

*I may have previously referred to Gretchen as Virginia, but since we are in Virginia, I don't want to confuse people. Gretchen will now be referred to as Richmond, the city of her family.

Pigs are flying.

2010-05-09T20:27:00.006-05:00

It's true. New York* traded in her Prius for ......gasp......an SUV. I know. Shocking. I naturally attribute about 95% of this decision to me, as clearly she thinks RFW and I are awesome, and she desperately wants to be just like me and my big SUV self.

I like my cars like I like my men. Macho and manly. So there. I'll put up with the extra cost of gasoline any day.

I'm sure there are other reasons.... something about needing more space than what a sardine can can hold.....something about getting a bicycle.....but I didn't listen very intently.

And so the count in our house is:

Awesomeness/Texas = 2

Prius = 0

*and yes, this is the roommate that nearly cried when I opted for the $.77-for-a-4-pack incandescent light bulbs instead of the the fancy $6 per light bulb fluorescents.

Oh, Target, how I love thee.....

2010-05-09T13:52:00.002-05:00

I saved a ton of money at Target yesterday. How, you ask? With a 10% discount card. How does one get one of these cards? By "earning" (spending) 1,000 points ($1,000) at Target. And yes, I had to buy a lot in order to save a "lot" (10%), but whatever. America. Capitalism. I'm keeping Target in business. I also tell myself that odds (?!?) are that I'll either live in a foreign country far away from modern American conveniences, or on a ranch a la Pioneer Woman, far away from a Target. I'll need to remember these times when I have to inevitably do without in the future.

Highlights of the trip:

They now have gluten free products!! This single glorious fact made me overlook that 95% of all merchandise is made in China. I bought gluten free cereal and chocolate chip cookie mix. Stoked.
This store (near my house) has a ton of grocery items, so I was able to buy wine and milk and frozen raspberries and other necessities. One stop shopping. How not-French of me.
I now impulsively buy those cute little juicebox-esque wine containers. I can't help it. they're so cute!
Best of all, they have cheap sandals. $19.99 for these things. I grew up wearing this style of sandal, only mine were from Wal-Mart and were made by Jordache or Gitano. With lightning quick reflexes, I lunged for them, thinking, "hey! just like when I was a kid!!" Welcome, summertime. Glad to have you here.

Facebook Purge

2010-05-09T13:41:00.007-05:00

Quotes have a way of stacking up on my facebook profile in attempts to a) inspire others and b), let's be honest, to impress others. Every now and then, in a fit of longing for simplicity, I pare down the list to one.

That time is now.

Here are the great quotes that I'm taking down:

kindly control yourself.

this is the true joy in life, the being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one; the being thoroughly worn out before you are thrown on the scrap heap; the being a force of nature instead of a feverish selfish little clod of ailments and grievances complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy.

-(george bernard shaw)

our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.

-(martin luther king, jr.)

god, who saved us and called us... not because of anything we have done,

but because of his own purpose and grace

-(2 timothy 1:9)

seek justice, protect the oppressed, defend the orphan,

plead for the widow.

-(isaiah 1:17)

forewarned and forearmed is half the day.

-(miguel de cervantes)

great necessities call out great virtues.

-(abigail adams)

life is a daring adventure, or nothing. -(helen keller) happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open. -(john barrymore) "young misses whut frowns an' pushes out dey chins an' says 'ah will' an' 'ah won' mos' gener'ly doan ketch husbands," prophesied mammy gloomily. "youn misses should cas' down dey eyes an' say, 'well, suh, ah mout' an' 'jes' as you say, suh.'" -(mammy in gone with the wind) Me: Man, I wish I were shorter. Amy: No, I wish he were taller. I am not willing to sacrifice my height. Amy: I am closet granola. Me: I wonder how they got all these old telephone poles out here in the middle of the forest.... whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. -(max ehrmann) the trouble with resisting temptation is you may not get another chance. -(edwin chapin) out of clutter, find simplicity. from discord, find harmony. in the middle of difficulties lies opportunity. -(albert einstein) there are things you do because they feel right and they may make no sense and they make no money and it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other and eat each other's cooking and say it was good. -(brian andreas) and so I can't decide: should i go for it and screw it up immediately? or wait to? -(amy) remember as far as everyone else is concerned, we are a nice normal family. today is your day! your mountain is waiting so get on your way! -(seuss)

life is a daring adventure, or nothing.
-(helen keller)

happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn’t know you left open.
-(john barrymore)

"young misses whut frowns an' pushes out
dey chins an' says 'ah will' an' 'ah won' mos'
gener'ly doan ketch husbands," prophesied
mammy gloomily. "youn misses should cas'
down dey eyes an' say, 'well, suh, ah mout'
an' 'jes' as you say, suh.'"
-(mammy in gone with the wind)

Me: Man, I wish I were shorter.
Amy: No, I wish he were taller.
I am not willing to sacrifice my height.

Amy: I am closet granola.

Me: I wonder how they got all these old
telephone poles out here in the middle
of the forest....

whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt
the universe is unfolding as it should.
-(max ehrmann)

the trouble with resisting temptation
is you may not get another chance.
-(edwin chapin)

out of clutter, find simplicity. from discord,
find harmony. in the middle of difficulties
lies opportunity.
-(albert einstein)

there are things you do because they
feel right and they may make no sense
and they make no money and it may be
the real reason we are here: to love each
other and eat each other's cooking and
say it was good.
-(brian andreas)

and so I can't decide: should i go for it
and screw it up immediately? or wait to?
-(amy)

remember as far as everyone else is concerned,
we are a nice normal family.

today is your day! your mountain is waiting
so get on your way!
-(seuss)

Farewell brunch for Ashley

2010-05-05T19:15:00.003-05:00

Annnnnd these photos are small, too. Sunday, I played hooky from church (shame, shame) and had brunch with six other lovely ladies as a semi-final farewell to Ashley.... who is leaving us for College Station. Tears. She's pretty cool.

We went to the Warehouse in Old Towne Alexandria. I feasted on crawfish and shrimp etoufee, in honor of Treme, my new fave (only) show this season.

We met the Pioneer Woman!

2010-05-05T19:11:00.003-05:00

This photo might appear really small.... but here we are with Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman! The five of us braved the insane traffic (took 1.25 hours to get there, but 15 minutes to return), and stood in line for around 2.5 hours next to spoiled rotten, screaming children.... BUT we got to meet our hero, and even got a photo with her!

Her life is my second tier dream life.

Here is her blog. She is hilarious.

Tara in the ER

2010-05-02T21:07:00.003-05:00

After church at Grace DC tonight, I sat on a bench at the base of the Washington Monument, reading a good book. A precious Filipino couple asked me to take their picture with the Lincoln Memorial in the background. They asked for another picture up close, then the woman asked if it was alright if her husband took a picture of the two of us. We had a lovely conversation about the work IJM does in Cebu City (where they're from). Very cool to connect with them.

Minutes later, I get a frantic call from Tara. She has nearly sliced off her entire finger, and needs to go to the ER. I'm on it. Will be home in 15 minutes. One of the many benefits of my stressful job is the ability to handle stressful situations relatively calmly. Found out where the closest quality hospital is, made it home, got her to the ER quickly, and sat for a whopping 5 minutes before she was admitted. Phenomenal. Gonzales Memorial Hospital has nothing on the Alexandria Inova Emergency Room (I spent many hours in the Gonzales hospital with my accident-prone kid brother back in the day).

I sat in the waiting room for a few minutes, catching up with Daddo via phone, then joined Tara in her room. I was totally fine, totally strong amidst all the blood and gore. Then the needle.... Earlier shot didn't deaden the pain enough, so the PA had to attack her fingertip with a needle. Emmy-Lou is still strong. Then the stitches. I was expecting a needle, but it more closely resembled a staple, semi stretched out, and sutured to some dental floss. Stitch one, stich two... all is well. THEN stitch three goes THROUGH THE FINGERNAIL and I couldn't feel my legs. The room started getting dark. I stepped outside, and propped myself up against a beam, and put my head between my legs. PRAISE JESUS I had a Larabar in my purse. I ate a bite, and decided not to ask the nurse for some water.

Lo and behold, the entire ordeal took an hour and a half. Tara and I were home in just enough time to have her delicious mussels and a Hoegaarden beer, and minutes before Treme, our fave new show (set in few-months-post Katrina New Orleans. Fantastic show.).

I SO want to go to New Orleans. Tara just informed me that there's a train that runs between here and New Orleans. Dude, I'm so in.

Softly Call the Muster....

2010-04-30T19:51:00.004-05:00

.. let comrade answer, "Here."...

A wreath was laid at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldiers in honor of the Aggies who died in the past year defending our country.

Me apparently trying to make myself shorter? The wonderful 2010 Aggie Muster Committee... it was a great success!! Around 350 people came!

There were 50 names in all...

We're going to miss you, Ashley!!!

Easter Sunrise Service at Arlington Cemetery

2010-04-18T08:02:00.003-05:00

A new tradition!! Easter Sunrise Service at Arlington Cemetery. It was fantastic. I admit I had a bit of narcissistic heroism going, thinking I was going to be one of the few waking up early and trudging up the hill.... but I was most pleasantly surprised. When I finally made it there (locked myself out of the house, climbed in through my bathroom window... didn't know it wasn't locked...so it was a blessing in disguise). Hundreds of people shuffled into the amphitheater, and the air was as crisp as the uniforms guiding us to our seats.

Important people were there, including a little boy with cancer. The Make a Wish Foundation was helping him achieve one of his dreams: to attend the sunrise service at Arlington Cemetery. When this was announced, I of course couldn't hold back the tears. How blessed I am.

Waiting for the sun to peek out over the top of the amphitheater...

There she is! They were singing the Hallelujah Chorus right as the sun appeared. It was splendid.

I'm in love with the American flag.

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

Happy Easter.

Lady, you're way off

2010-04-18T07:53:00.002-05:00

On Easter Sunday, I took a lovely walk around the National Mall. Stopped by the steps of the reflecting pool to laugh at the tourists, and here are some goodies:

My view:

This is funny to me. If there wasn't a Lincoln Memorial behind me, it would be really funny.

Part Two in a Series

Lady, you're way off.

Friday in Texas

2010-03-31T19:43:00.004-05:00

Oh yeah, I went home for an extended weekend. Here's what Friday entailed:

"Wheels" (dear friend Amy) picked me up at the airport - isn't that awesome?! What a jewel of a friend. I use her to cart me all over God's green earth, and she doesn't mind!!! I highly recommend having your very own "Wheels" of a friend. (She received this nickname from Dad last fall when she carted me to College Station. She in turn pointed to a bottle of wine and said it was the perfect name for my dad).

Got to spend a lot of time with Granmary at her swanky crib in H-town, the Hallmark (an assisted living high-rise). I really enjoyed seeing Granmary. Patsy came over and the three of us had dinner together at the Houston Country Club-esque (I kid you not) dining room. Despite being joined by Mr. Pollock, a cantankerous old man that I'll quote later, the crisp white tablecloths and ample waitstaff and snooty old biddies at tables nearby and Granmary transforming into the belle of the ball reeked of the HCC.

At the Club, when Granmary's friends (the ones she cared to acknowledge) passed by, she politely beckoned for them to come over and meet me, drawling, "This is Emily, mah grand daw-ta. This is Anne's daw-tah." The ladies would then coo and say how much I've grown up, insert proper Southern small talk, then they were off. Fast forward to the present. From her wheelchair at the table, Granmary beckons her friends to be wheeled over by their assistants. She drawls, "I wawunt you to meet my gran daw-ta. This is Anne's daw-ta, Emily." Oh, how they cooed and showed me that I was "this big" (about 12" tall) the last time they saw me. Some things never change.

Met Mr. Stimson, an old family friend who a) taught Mom and her siblings' Sunday School class at St. Francis Episcopal and b) summered with my family at Inks Lake near Austin. Phenomenally kind and sharp man, he is. I love elderly people.

Ok, now for Mr. Pollock. What a character! We were at a table for 4, and he ambled up with his walker, gruffly asking if the seat was taken, all the while eyeing the bottle of white wine Patsy had just placed on the table (it's BYOB. Not very Country Club, but I think enough Suggestion cards were filled out that the management obliged). Mr. Pollock's pants hit his upper chest, and his Mr. Magoo glasses made his eyes much larger than they actually were. He eagerly obliged Patsy's offer of a glass of wine, and quickly blurted, "nice aroma," a statement I don't think he really meant, as his sight and hearing left much to be desired.

I took Granmary to the powder room during dinner, and when I wheeled her back to her seat, Mr. Pollock barked, "You can't sit there! That seat is taken!" A couple of awkward seconds passed, then he mutters, "Oh. It's you."

The fare for dinner was fried or baked catfish with french fries or asparagus (it's really entertaining to see the residents feel so powerful with their menu sheets and the ability to choose precisely what they want for supper). Dessert came on a cart, with Mr. Pollock stealing a piece of cheesecake from a passing cart, then throwing a tantrum when what was on his plate was in fact angel food cake and not the cookie he'd requested. He furiously scribbled on a Suggestion card, as did Granmary (because they'd apparently left skin on one side of her fried fish).

After we got Granmary up to her apartment and visited for awhile, it was past her bedtime (dinner had been a good 2 hour ordeal) so she was off to bed. Patsy and I said our goodbyes and headed downstairs. It was really great to see Granmary and Patsy - I've missed them big time. Amy and Courtney and Sheridan picked me up and carted me off to "What's up, Cupcake?" the cutest little Airstream trailer parked in an old car lot, selling delicious individual cupcakes. Random. I love it.

We later went to Cedar Creek (where I usually run into old college boyfriends), but it was bone dry Friday night. Amy spewed her drink all over me, Sheridan, and the table when Sher pretended to wind up her (invisible) hearing aid. You had to have been there. It was AWESOME.

Next stop was Taco C for Fats McGillicutty, yours truly. Sher and Amy meowed at me while I scarfed down a beef fajita taco. Thankfully they hadn't pinned creepy cat photos to the bed like they did last time I stayed at Amy's. Courtney is uber-classy, as always. She just got into grad school (woohoo!) for speech pathology.

So in summary, Texas is just as great as I left it. Wheels navigated around the dreadful traffic (second only to Austin), and I found myself totally capable of one day moving back to HOUSTON. Holy Toledo. The DC rat race does crazy things to a person.

And next time boys and girls, it's going to the the tale of Saturday!! Fasten your seatbelts.

My Social Security Statement

2010-03-18T19:45:00.002-05:00

Things learned when reading my SS statement:

What in the world did I do in 1997 that accounted for $12 in social security earnings? Why did I report that?!
If I become disabled right now, I could get $1217 a month.
If I die this year, certain members of your family MAY qualify for the following benefits: your child $1087 a month (well, that's out of the equation).... your spouse who reaches full retirement age: $1449 a month (rats, nonexistent child has no retirement-reached dad); total family benefits cannot be more than $2692 a month (what's the point of having more than one kid?? Oh yeah - the ability to choose which one gets the SS benefits!)

And now, for some light reading material:

Survivors: When you die, certain members of your family may be eligible for benefits:
1. Your spouse age 60 or older (50 or older if disabled, or any age if caring for your children younger than age 16); and
2. Your children if unmarried and younger than age 18, still in school and younger than 19 years old, or adult children disabled before age 22.
If you are divorced, your ex-spouse could be eligible for a widow's or widower's benefit on your record when you die.
Studies show that a 20 year old worker has a 3 in 10 chance of qualifying for disability benefits before reaching retirement age.

What the heck?!? My ex-husband could get benefits before my children disabled after age 22? And how in the WORLD do they come up with these ages?

And lastly, a bit of good news from the "What young workers should know about Social Security and saving:"

Will Social Security be around when I retire?
Yes. The Social Security taxes you now pay go into the Social Security Trust Funds* and are used to pay benefits to current beneficiaries.** The Social Security Board of Trustees*** now estimates that based on current law, in 2037, the Trust Funds will be depleted. Because people are living longer and the birth rate is low, the ratio of workers to beneficiaries is falling.**** Therefore, taxes that are paid by workers will not be enough to pay the full benefit amounts scheduled.

However, this does not mean that Social Security benefit payments would disappear. Even if modifications to the program are not made, there would still be enough funds in 2037 from taxes paid by workers to pay for about $760 for every $1000 in benefits scheduled.*****

* Gee, I'm a trust fund baby after all!
**It's good when benefits are given to beneficiaries. This is how things are supposed to be.
***How does one become a SS Trustee, pray tell?
****At last: a way to selfishly appeal to all the people getting abortions and thus lowering our birth rate: Let the kid live!! He/She will foot the bill for your SS!! (sorry, probably cross the line on this one).
*****So quitcherbellyachin' about things running out. Depletion it is not. 76% of what you should get it is.

So the moral of the story is summed up quite nicely on the back of the newsletter:

"Social Security is a financial foundation.....But you should also save and invest....So start saving today."

Thanks, dude. I'll do that.

Really?

2010-03-15T18:03:00.006-05:00

And now for the latest installment of..... "Really!?"

Really, lady? Your goal is to become the world's fattest woman? One thousand pounds? Will you then let the millions in the world who are starving to death feast on your gluttonous derriere? Really - you should consider it. At least make the calories count for something. And chasing your daughter really burns enough calories for you to be worried about losing weight? Your hubbie supports you because he's a "belly man?" REALLY??

"Drizzle for Shizzle." Really, Washington Post? Can you be so unashamedly unprofessional in your article headings? Is this what you call journalism? Is this why you're going bankrupt? Really?

Really, Kate Gosselin? I quit watching your show because a) I was disgusted with your metamorphosis into a TV drama queen and b) I hoped that I could singlehandedly lower your ratings so you'd get off the air and raise your children out of the spotlight and BE NICE TO YOUR HUSBAND FOR ONCE. Alas, it was too late. And now you've gone and joined Dancing with the Stars. Yes, I saw you on the cover of some magazine while I was in line at the grocery store. I saw your Winnie the Pooh tattoo complete with a pot of honey. REALLY?!? Who gets a Winnie the Pooh tattoo on one's ankle and FLAUNTS IT?!? Who are you?! Really!

Uh oh. I dared to go to the Fox News website and now I'm riled up. I'd better stop while I'm ahead/civil. Really.

Things that are making me smile right now

2010-03-14T17:10:00.007-05:00

Tulips on my bedside table... tulips are so great.

The random framed photo of people I don't know... the guy is taking an oath and behind him there's a huge glob that just says "Soviet Bloc"...

Compared to this portion of the massive map in my room....

I'm really excited about decorating eggs. I need to have a party.

I caved last time I was at Target. What's Easter without Dubble Bubble Eggs?!?!*

*I realize there is FAR more to Easter than dyeing eggs and chewing bubble gum, and I'll address this is later posts, but for now, this is what's making me smile.

Gorgeous orchid plant New York bought.... displayed in the living room... (I give it 2 weeks)

And lastly...what's this?!?! It's 6:30pm and it's still light outside!! I'm going out for a walk!! Drizzle Smizzle. This puny weather won't keep me cooped up any longer.... (although the house has benefited from my presence this weekend.... except for Texas and New York's Curtain Rod Dilemma That Will No Longer Be Mentioned (it involves high blood pressure, tacky curtain rods, frayed drill bits, and metal/cement/the devil inside the wall, thus preventing the hanging of semi-classy curtain rods to aid in the Ongoing Beautification of the Formal Living Room).