Really? Is there a 6" difference between regular slacks and tall slacks? C'mon, Gap. Can you make something in between? Regular slacks are floodwater city on me, and tall slacks are at least four inches too long. Really? You're going to make me get the pants altered? Flats are never flat enough, and heels are never tall enough (because let's face it. anything above a 3" heel and I'm guaranteed to trip. Like today. When I tripped on my tall pants while wearing my heels.) Really.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Really? You are in such a hurry to get into the grocery store that your entire schedule is thrown off because my shopping cart slightly got in your way? Could it be that you can't see where you're going because it's 7:30pm and getting dark and you're still wearing sunglasses? Really? Are you trying to pretend you're famous?
Yes, the rumors going around are true. Emily has a real job. Executive Assistant to the Vice President of Field Operations. Or as those in the "BIZ" like to call it, EATTVPOFO. Just kidding... Autographs will be available on May 27, to coincide with the start of her insurance coverage.
In the meantime, feel free to congratulate her and send her money. Money is always appreciated: no job, temp job, salary position. Free love. We don't discriminate.
But in all seriousness, THANK YOU for your support and listening ears over the past couple o' months o' mayhem. God is good, and God deserves all the credit for Emily landing a job during the recession. Take that, economy. You can't keep me down.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Public Service Announcement:
When there is a fire truck on your tail, pull over.
I just witnessed a rather pathetic excuse for humanity creeping along like an idiot with no real desire to pull over as the sirens blared (into my room, as the windows are open) just outside my apartment.
I've noticed that this happens with alarming frequency in these parts.
People these days.
Hey Liberal Media.
How about you report about THIS freak show the President authorized???? (forgive me for using Fox News - CNN's article didn't have the facts.)
What is happening?!?!? Isn't anyone listening?!?!?
(The Press Secretary thought it would be cool to have pictures of Air Force One and the Statue of Liberty, so AF1 is flying around downtown New York and freaking everyone out, a la 9/11.
Morons. HAven't they heard of photoshop??
IMAGINE if this were Bush's idea. The media would be in outrage.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
No, not that kind of mall. THE national mall. Here's a view from the very bottom.
A wonderful quote. Funny timing with people resting under it.
Texas representing at the World War II Memorial.
This was my favorite museum of the day: so much to see! I'm coming back here the next chance I get.
I need to see Night at the Museum!
Inside look at the dome
AAUUGGHH!!! MY HAND!!!!!
Particularly creepy looking prehistoric creature I was not aware of.
Oh, God's timing.
Oh how true this is.
This whale, though suspended in the air, looked like it was in the water! Cool lights show.
What can happen to your teeth if you frequently smoke clay pipes. Word to the wise.
Hey Sunshine! The girls and our shades by the Smithsonian stop
Cool sculpture in front of museum
An artistic rendition of the Star-Spangled Banner. This exhibit was very informative. Definitely recommend it.
This precious couple was my highlight of the day.
I visited the Air and Space Museum in 2001 - but (shocking) I don't remember that much! (Compared to Amy, I remember nothing). Had fun getting Happy Meals at McDonald's inside the Food Court, and saw some spiffy sights. Look on.
THE Spirit of St. Louis. As in Lindbergh's.
Apparently there's a spiffy award given for incredible performance in aeronautics. Sure, I'll claim that relation.
How to tell the difference between axis and ally weapons:
Fascinating. Grateful others are willing to learn this sort of thing:
Forgive me for not posting 27 items over the weekend as usual - I'm hopping around the greater DC area with Amy and Sheridan! Pictures coming soon. It has been fabulous. Items of note:
If tourists are reflecting the current state of the Union, we are in trouble.
Overheard in the Natural History Museum:
"Look, mama! A reindeer!!" a little 6-7 year old kid exclaims as he looks up at a skeleton of a moose.
The mother says nothing, and also gazes up at the moose.
1) I was appalled that the mother did not say, "Close, DeMarcus, that's a moose." How else are kids supposed to learn? Gotta teach 'em when they're young. I promise it's not in the I-am-always-right-and-will-constantly-correct-my-kids-and-stunt-their-imagination kind of way, but in a teach-your-kids-right-answers-so-they-will-be-smart kind of way.
2) Sheridan pointed out that the mother probably didn't know the difference between a moose and a reindeer in the first place.
Seen on a black with gold font t-shirt on a girl about 8 years old:
"Socializing is my best subject."
Really? Whatever happened to encouraging kids in the 3R's (Reading, 'Riting and 'Rithmetic)?? And pushing girls in the fields of science and math (since we get progressively worse the older we get - admit it)?
Clearly I am leaning more towards homeschooling and keeping my children sheltered from all the morons out there. MY how times have changed.
(*Note: for the record, in all future posts, I can poke fun at homeschoolers, private schoolers, Catholic schoolers, and public schoolers, because I have been all of them.)
Friday, April 24, 2009
Thursday, April 23, 2009
I may be developing carpal tunnel syndrome. In my left wrist. Mark my words.
Do you ever do that? I realize that with annoying frequency I say, "In case I die, I ate ___ last night," or "I took this medicine. It expired 3 years ago. I left the package out so you'll know what killed me."
Apparently I've unwittingly been risking my life yet being so conscientious so that you will know what it was that got my goat. This will thus ensure that my imminent death will not be the subject of a Law & Order: SVU episode. No sir. I will have prepared you. Look for signs.
Also, is it weird that I a) have my funeral planned out and b) hope that I am assassinated instead of murdered? So even if I'm not that big of a deal at the time of my death, please be sure the papers say I was assassinated.
Ok, enough morbidity. But I really think something's wrong with my wrist.
Monday, April 20, 2009
"Redass" is a particularly unattractive word when not put in context, and is - as is typical of many things Aggie - actually a high compliment.
To be a redass Ag is a really good thing. I am a redass Ag. Not only will I be attending Aggie Muster tomorrow at Fort Myer, I am having lunch at work with the other 3 Aggies I work with.
Drumroll, please... there will be a representative from the Classes of 2006, 2007, 2008, and 2009 at lunch. I'm the oldest. EEEEK!!!